Dolan twins little sister

Chapter 64

Alyssa's POV

"You've barely touched your pancakes"

My eyes swiftly make their way back to grandma's as she's rubbing a damp cloth vigorously over a stain on the marble counter top.

"Sorry" I mumble, picking up my fork and stabbing it into the stack of syrupy fluffy goodness.

She doesn't hear me and continues scrubbing. I sigh and put the fork in my mouth. The pancakes feel cloying and unwelcome on my bothered tongue while the syrup just glues my back teeth together. The fork clinks against my teeth as I drag it out and place it back next to the plate. The sound echoes around my mouth, the vibrations making my head buzz. It's been a few days since I've been throwing up food and I've honestly lost all my energy.

"Are you okay, munchkin?" Grandma asks, distracted from her obsessive cleaning. She eyes me carefully as I fake a smile.

"I'm fine"

She looks doubtful but turns away to unpack the dishwasher. I let my smile fall. I'm surprised she didn't push it. Normally grandma can read me like a book.

"You know what? I'm actually feeling kinda sick, grandma. Imma go lay down for a bit"

She turns around and smiles, opening her arms. I have no choice but to accept the hug.

"You do that, sweetie. Have a little nap and I'm sure you'll be right as rain by lunchtime"

Her arms tighten slightly and she lets out a small chuckle.

"Good thing you're getting more meat on those bones of yours. I can tell you've been eating well"

Wow! GREAT grandma thanks

I cringe and release myself from her hold. Just what I needed to hear. I mean, not too far from the truth I guess. I've lived most my life with the twins telling me I'm skinny and that I shouldn't lose any weight but now I'm starting to think otherwise. I wished they had just told me the truth. Then I wouldn't be so fucking fat and embarrassing to look at.

I make my way upstairs and take special care to check the room before locking myself in the bathroom. I gather my hair in a ponytail, prepare my two fingers and proceed to lean over the toilet bowl and carry on with my new daily routine.
Pieces of pancake that I did consume fly out and make me feel worse than ever. Why, why, why can't I just fucking stop eating? I hate myself! I hate myself so very much.
It's not long before I'm crying and rocking back and forth on the linoleum floor. God, I'm pathetic. It's really no wonder why my dad took off or why my mother turned to drugs and alcohol.
Oh god.
It's my fault. It's all my fault! How could I be so dumb and oblivious to the fact that my parents couldn't bear to be around me? Oh my god, the twins! The poor twins having to be stuck with me! Me of all people!

You're a fat ugly pig!

Loser

You need to lose weight

You need to lose weight

You need to lose weight NOW!

I take a sharp breath in as my brain starts to burble on and on about how imperfect I am. Soon enough, fresh tears start rolling down my cheeks and I don't even have the energy to wipe them away. I'm pathetic. I'm pathetic and I'm not enough and I'm an embarrassment to my family.

"Alyssa?"

I freeze and suddenly stand up, quickly flushing the toilet and unlocking the door. Grayson stands there looking worried.

"Were you sick? Here, come sit down"

He gently guides me to the bed that we share and grabs me a glass of water. He then sits next to me and strokes my hair as he brushes my tears away.