Chapter 15

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Alyssa's POV

I sigh as I rummage through my bathroom drawers looking for my razor so I can shave my legs. I can't find it. Frustrated, I kick the bottom drawer. Not a good idea. Suddenly, I remember that Grayson took it. 

"Grayson," I say, walking into the kitchen. 

He puts his mug of coffee down and smiles at me. "Goodmorning"

"I need my razor to shave my legs," I say. "do you have it?"

Grayson sighs but unlocks a drawer in the kitchen. He opens it and I see some of the sharpest kitchen knives in there too. From paper clips to knives, the boys really did take my suicide attempt seriously. He finally pulls out my razor and hands it to me. I take hold of it but he doesn't let go.

"Grayson"

"Promise me you'll use this to only shave. After your shower give it back to me"

I try to take it but he doesn't let go. 

"Promise me, Alyssa. I'm not fucking around"

"Grayson" I look him in the eyes. "I promise"

He lets go and I walk to my bathroom. Yay. I finally get to shave again.  


I hand Grayson my razor and he locks it back up while I sit at the kitchen table and eat breakfast. 

"Morning siblings!" Ethan announces, walking into the kitchen.

I choke on my cereal as his legs come into view. He's wearing leggings with shorts over the top. I pound my chest and drink some water. he raises an eyebrow at me. 

"Do I look that bad?"

"Where the fuck are you going dressed like that?" Grayson asks, trying not to laugh.

"Emma and I are going to soul cycle"

I nod and giggle. "Let me know how that works out for you"

"Meanie" he pouts, grabbing his stuff. "Bye"

"Bye," Grayson and I say. 

Once he's out the front door, Grayson and I burst into laughter. 

"I have to make him work out. Emma just has to ask?" 

I laugh. "He loves Emma more"

Grayson shakes his head and refills his coffee. "I think I need more coffee after that"

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Next day- Monday- 7 am- Alyssa's POV

My phone alarm beeps loudly, the sound making me realize that I have school today. Fuckkkkkkk. I crack open an eye and see that it's still dark out. Five more minutes. I close my eyes and feel the warmth of sleep dragging me under. 

Splash

"Wha-"

I'm in shock as icy cold water shocks me awake. Grayson laughs and ruffles my hair. 

"Get up"

I groan loudly as he walks out of my room, laughing. Asshole. I slip out of bed and grab some clothes before walking to my bathroom. My fingers slide against the wall blindly trying to find the light switch. I finally find it and flick it on. Ugh. Time to start my day I guess. 

At school- third period

I'm copying down math examples in my notebook when I suddenly feel something hit the back of my head. I roll my eyes as I hear the three popular girls laughing behind me. Can't they just leave me alone for once? I turn around and look down. a balled-up piece of paper is sitting there. I pick it up and unfold it. 

Loser

I sigh and stuff it in my desk. I don't wanna deal with their bullshit today. The bell rings at the right moment and the teacher dismisses us. I'm putting my notebook in my bag when Quinn bumps her shoulder into mine, almost making me fall. She and her friends laugh, walking away. I grab my bag and decide to go to the library and skip lunch. I'm not that hungry. 

Library

I get a text from Melody and Kayla asking where I am and I sigh. Things between us haven't been going very well and to be honest I'm okay with that. Kayla's getting to boy crazy and she started hitting on Hayden after we decided to break up and Melody's been distant. Like, super distant and every time I try to talk to her about it she always shrugs me off. I don't like feeling underappreciated and lately, that's all I've been feeling when I hang out with them. 

I ignore the text and push my phone into my jeans pocket. It's classtime anyways. 

Home

"Grayson?"

"Hm?"

I double click on Emma's recent Instagram picture and sigh. 

"Is it....Is it normal to feel out of place among your friends?" 

He frowns and looks at me. "Everything okay?"

I shake my head. "No, not really. Kayla and Melody have been making me feel bad. They're always saying that I'm never there for them"

"You're a great friend, sweetie," Grayson says. "Maybe they're just going through some things. I don't know a lot about girls and their friends but I do know that anybody would be lucky to have you"

"Not really helping Gray" I sigh, resting my head on the kitchen counter. 

He dries his hands on a kitchen towel and turns the pasta sauce off, walking over towards me. He takes a seat on the stool next to me.

"What's been annoying you about them lately?"

I don't even hesitate. 

"Kayla's hitting on Hayden who's my ex-boyfriend and she has no respect for boundaries and Melody is distant. Every time I wanna talk to her about something she always shrugs me off and talks to Kayla instead like I'm invisible"

Grayson stands up walks to the stove to check on the spaghetti. 

"Seems to me that you're just all changing and everything will be back to normal again soon," he says, winking at me. 

"You sure? Because it doesn't feel like it"

"Sweetheart, friendships are tricky. Everyone's always scared of them failing which is what causes them to fail. If you just keep talking to them and keep hanging around them then I think you three will be okay"

"I want it to be like it was before, Gray. Not just okay" 

"It doesn't always work out that way" he shrugs. "Now go get Ethan. Dinner's ready"


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