Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

Tigress Makes Love to Po

DEAR PERVERTS! DO NOT GET THE WRONG IDEA! IT'S A PLAY ON WORDS! Completely safe to read!... More or Less... maybe less.

Po was munching away on some food as Tigress looked at him absentmindedly. Po repeatedly asked what was wrong with her, but Tigress kept replying that nothing was wrong. Finally, as Po was drinking, Tigress asked him a question. "Po, how do you make love to someone?" Po choked on the juice for a while before clearing his airways.

"I'm sorry, what did you say," Po asked timidly.

"How do you make love to someone?"

"That's what I thought you said. I was just really hoping you didn't," Po murmured.

"Why is it so difficult to say for you?" Tigress asked.

"Because it has a different meaning for most people," Po nervously explained.

"How so?"

"You don't want to know," Po nervously chuckled.

"And if I do," Tigress asked.

"Why are you so interested in it? I didn't think you would care much for stuff like it. It's really corny and often times misguided," Po replied.

"I heard it from Viper," Tigress explained. Po snorted.

"That figures," Po replied, sipping the tea, "Why was she talking about it?"

"You know how Viper and Crane are intimate?" Tigress asked. Po nodded. "Viper said if they got married that she would make love to him so much that he wouldn't be able to think straight." Po spat up the drink again. "In the way, it was phrased, I thought that it was something done by intimate couples, but I didn't know what it was."

"Oh, that's why" Po coughed up. "Don't worry, about it Tigress. It is definitely something that only couples do, preferably when they're married." Then he realized something. "Wait, how is it that I know about these things and you don't?" Po asked.

"Master Shifu never mentioned much about love or relationships. Everything on love, I get from Viper," Tigress replied.

"Considering what you heard, that's probably the worst person to get your relationship advice," Po muttered.

"Is it a bad thing?" Tigress asked.

"No, no, it's just... if it's not... well... In ideal circumstances it's when you make a commitment to another person that's seen in... you know... 'touching people' ways. It's a sign of love that only helps to connect people more. But it can't stand by itself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if a person only 'makes love to' their special person, then that same love is not cared for, nurtured, and raised. Love is like a plant. There are so many things you have to consider and do when you want the plant to grow. It's not always as simple as just watering it. Sometimes it needs no water for days, sometimes months, other times it needs all the water it can get. And then it's not only water. You have to think of the ground, soil, air quality, minerals in the ground, weeds to defend off. While 'watering' someone is fine, there are other things that have to be done to make a plant as strong as a mustard tree." Po explained. Tigress nodded and then left the room. She came back with a bright red beautiful scarf. "Tigress what are you doing?" Po asked.

"I'm... giving you my love. In a sense, I'm making love to you," Tigress replied. Po blushed immensely.

"Tigress, you have to stop saying-" He stopped short when he realized what she was doing. "Wait, you mean... you love me?" Po asked. Tigress nervously nodded. Po smiled widely as he took the scarf and put it around his neck. "I love it, and I love you as well," Po replied, giving Tigress a tender hug while Tigress hugged back. Then Po left the room. Just then, Monkey came into the room.

"Hey, Tigress, what's up?" Monkey asked.

"Nothing, Monkey. I was just asking Po what it means to make love to someone," Tigress said plainly, not seeing anything wrong with her wording. Monkey, knowing Tigress longer than Po, wasn't really shaken up that she didn't know the meaning.

"Oh, 'Making love'? It means-" And that's why Tigress always blushes when she sees Po with the red scarf she made for him. ;)

The End