Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

The Glory of Watermelon

There was liquid splashing all over the table. Getting this kind of food at the Jade Palace was a rarity, especially in the mountains. It could only grow near the warmer climates near the sea. Po spat out the seeds in his piece of fruit. "Mmm, I love watermelon!" Po hummed.

"Who doesn't? I mean, except Crane," Viper said. Crane didn't like watermelon not only because of the taste but because the water had a tendency of making his feathers sticky.

"Yeah, and this one is really sweet," Monkey replied.

"Yeah, " Mantis said dancing around, holding his midsection, "But it does make you go to the bathroom a lot. Excuse me!" With that, the little bug ran out of the room. Po chuckled. He looked at the piece of watermelon thinking to himself.

"You know, I keep forgetting that Crane's a bird," Po said. Viper looked confused.

"Why?"

"Well, not really forget that he's a bird. I just keep forgetting about his wings. They aren't arms," Po explained.

"Of course," Monkey said slowly. "Why would they be?"

"What I'm saying is that Crane's wings move around so normally that I forget they aren't like my arms. They don't hang down like mine. They get tucked in." Viper and Monkey looked at each other still confused. "It's just this little observation I've been taking notice of."

"Okay." Monkey chuckled, laughing at Po's awkward question.

"What do you think Tigress likes in a man?" Viper asked the boys. Po coughed up a piece of watermelon.

"What?" Po said startled.

"I asked what kind of man do you think Tigress would like?" Viper asked. Po and Monkey looked at each other.

"Viper, if anything, we should be asking you that. You and Tigress are the only females in the palace. I would think you two would be close on a... womanly level," Monkey replied.

"Well, that's not the case. Tigress and I do talk but it's not really stuff that is personal. And besides, I wasn't really asking you, Monkey," Viper said, turning to Po.

"Me? Why do you think I know?"

"She's right, Po," Monkey said, "Tigress does respect you a lot and she does consider you a great friend."

"And she doesn't consider you two friends?" Po asked.

"She does, but you're her close friend," Monkey answered. Po thought about it for a while.

"I think... Tigress is more or less attracted to a person's character."

"I know that," Viper said, rolling her eyes. "I've been around her enough to know that. I'm asking what kind of character traits."

"Oh, that's a hard question," Po said rubbing the back of his head. "I think she likes a person with... friendliness and openness. Someone she can trust would definitely be a need. Patient, understanding, and someone who could make her happy."

"Like you!" Viper said excitedly.

"Yeah like- That's not what I meant!" Po exclaimed as the two laughed at his blushing face.

"We know what you mean Po," Monkey smiled. "I would say the same thing for Tigress." He picked up another piece of watermelon.

"You guys know Lei-Lei?"

"The cute little girl panda that keeps calling Tigress 'Stripey Baby'? Of course, why?" Viper asked.

"Do you think I would be a good father to her?" Po asked. Monkey nearly choked on the piece of fruit in his mouth.

"Um... of course why?" Viper asked.

"Well, I've always thought she would be great to have around in the Jade Palace."

"No, I mean why are you considering children all of a sudden?" Viper restated.

"Oh, well I've been thinking about my life a lot and... I'm actually thinking of having a family a lot." Po said. Monkey and Viper looked at each other.

"Does Tigress know about this?" Monkey asked. Po seemed confused.

"Why does Tigress have to know?"

"Well, she's grown very fond of Lei-Lei. She even babysits her while she stays at your father's shop. In order to 'adopt' Lei-Lei, you would have to go through Tigress."

"I wouldn't have to, Monkey. We would probably share time with her," Po said.

"Since when did you get so serious about life?" Viper asked.

"I don't know," Po simply shrugged.

"Well, I think you would be a great father whether you adopted someone or not," Viper said, making Po smiled. "And I'm sure that Tigress would be more that happy to share more than Lei-Lei with you," She smirked. Po blushed.

"Okay, okay, let's stop teasing Po and get back to eating," Monkey chuckled. It was quiet for a while before Viper spoke again.

"How does Mantis go to the bathroom?" Viper questioned.

"EWW! I don't want to question that!" Po said.

"Maybe it's the watermelon causing all of this," Monkey muttered looking at the piece of watermelon in his hand.

"I'm kidding guys, what I really wanted to know is what kind of girl Po likes," Viper smiled. Po darted his eyes around the room.

"Look a distraction," Po quickly said pointing to the window. Both Viper and Monkey looked and Po dashed out of the room. By the time they looked back, Po was long gone. Viper laughed.

"Why would you ask a question like that?" Monkey asked, "You know who he likes."

"I know," Viper smiled, "But I wanted to see how he would react."

Meanwhile, Po ran and ran to the Training Hall. "Phew! I think I'm far enough."

"Far enough from where," Tigress said, popping out of nowhere.

"AHH!" Po jumped. "Oh, it's just you, Tigress."

"Who were you running from?" Tigress asked.

"Huh? no, I just... I wanted to... find you," Po fibbed.

"Really?" Tigress smirked raising her eyebrow. Po nervously smiled.

"Yep. Found you! Hehe."

"So you did," Tigress smirked. Then she sniffed around. "Do I smell watermelon?"

"Oh, yeah. The others and I were eating some. I could get some for you if you want it."

"No, I think I'll just stick with you for a while," Tigress smiled. Po seemed confused.

"Why? Not that I mind, but it is a little out of the ordinary for you."

"I just want to spend some time with you. Especially to talk about us sharing Lei-Lei," Tigress smiled naughtily. Po's face froze in its shocked face.

"You heard that?" Po said in a high pitched voice.

"From what I like in a man," Tigress replied. Po looked away ashamed. Tigress softly chuckled. "Don't worry Po. You don't have to be embarrassed. And I'd be happy to share Lei-Lei with you."

"Thank you," Po shyly said.

"And what do you like in a woman?" Tigress asked. Po sighed.

"That's it, I'm not eating anymore watermelon," Po grunted.

"Why not?" Tigress asked curiously.

"Too many embarrassing conversations," Po grumbled. Tigress just smiled.

The End