Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

Age

"Seriously? None of you know," Po exclaimed to the Furious Five, minus Tigress. He was talking to the team in the barracks' kitchen and the conversation they were having was interesting, to say the least.

"It never came up. We don't ask questions like that," Viper said.

"It's a simple question. It's not even personal," Po replied. "And I'd expect you to know it, Viper."

"Well, you have to admit. Tigress isn't very open," Viper replied.

"And you, Crane, the level-headed one. You don't know it either," Po asked.

"No, and it's never come up. We don't cross boundaries like that," Crane answered.

"A boundary is not discussing a tragic accident, not this," Po returned.

"Why not ask Monkey and Mantis," Viper said.

"We don't know," Monkey replied.

"And that's why!" Po exclaimed.

"Then why don't you ask her," Crane asked.

"Oh sure, the newest member of the Jade Palace to ask the mighty fearsome Tigress, who can punch me in... one, three, seven different ways without touching me, a question. No," Po responded.

"Well, then you won't know," Crane shrugged.

"Come on, guys. You don't know how old Tigress is?" Po asked again.

"No," They all replied. Po slumped in his chair.

"Incredible. Years of living with her and you don't even know her age," Po marveled.

"Hey, you've known Tigress for a while and you've gotten closer to her than any of us could. Maybe you should ask her," Mantis remarked.

"I would and could never," Po sighed. But he stood up with a determined look on his face. "But I, Po Ping, will figure out the age of Tigress. This I swear!"

And that's how it happened. Po had figured out the perfect plan. It started with Shifu. Po and Master Shifu started taking longer and longer discussions and conversations. The Furious Five were confused and confusing still, Master Shifu seemed to enjoy it. Po had dug into topics Shifu liked and subjects he admired. As a result, Po was able to find more about Kung Fu than he anticipated. But during their interview, Po asked, "Master Shifu, you've been with Master Tigress for a while, correct?" The red panda eyed the panda weirdly as if Po had asked him something crazy.

"Yes," Master Shifu said slowly, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, there has been something that I've been wondering about," Po said.

"What is it, Po?" Master Shifu asked. Po could see he was on the defense.

"Well, do you know Master Tigress's age?"

"Oh, that's what you wanted to know. Oh," Shifu sighed relieved. Po was confused. "I thought you were going to ask something else."

"Like what?"

"Never mind that," Shifu brushed it away. "And the answer to your question is... I don't know."

"What?!"

"I don't. I know she's at least around your age," Master Shifu explained.

"That doesn't give me a date," Po replied.

"I know, but I don't know. You know the story of how Tigress came here. The only person who would likely know is the caretaker at the orphanage."

"Is the caretaker still there," Po asked.