Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

The "What If" Game

"Get your finger out of my butt!" Tigress exclaimed to Po. "Is what I would say in that situation."

"Oh, I was expecting something more... expletive," Po replied. Tigress folded her arms and held her head high.

"I'm too dignified to stoop to cursing and swearing," Tigress explained. Po smiled.

"Okay, next question," Po said picking up another card. Po and Tigress were playing a game of 'What if'. Po had played with Viper before playing with Tigress and he liked the game. Viper had come up with the idea and encouraged Po to play with Tigress. Why she wanted Po to play with Tigress was beyond Po, but he managed to convince Tigress to play. The set of question cards that they were playing from were made by Viper. She had made the cards specifically for the game. When Po agreed to have Tigress play, Viper added more cards to make the game interesting. That should have been the first red flag.

"Okay then," Tigress said, picking up another card. "'What if you put your job on hold to pursue your dream?'"

"Oh, that's easy. My job is my dream! I love doing Kung Fu," Po said excitedly. Tigress smiled knowing that Po was telling the truth. "Ask me another question, that wasn't really hard."

"Okay. Here's one, 'What would you do if you weren't able to do the thing you loved most?'" Po's eyes widened at the question. He sat quietly thinking about it.

"I... don't think I would have a life," Po honestly said. Tigress seemed a tad frightened that he had said it like that.

"I'm sure you would have something else that you love," Tigress said.

"I... I don't think so," Po said unsurely.

"What about cooking? You like doing that," Tigress proposed.

"Yes, but I don't think I would do that as a different job. I guess I would just like teaching Kung Fu if I couldn't do it," Po replied.

"Okay, but I think you would have a life even if you couldn't do Kung Fu," Tigress said. Po then noticed his mistake.

"Oh! I'm not saying my life wouldn't have any meaning, I'm just saying that I would miss it," Po clarified.

"Okay," Tigress said understanding, "You ask me a question."

"Here's one: 'What if the person you hated the most asked you on a date? What would you say?'"

"I would say, 'No, never in your life.' and then kick him in the... tenders," Tigress said carefully. Po was surprised she would be that violent.

"Why would you be that violent?"

"Because I'm picturing someone like Tai-Lung asking me on a date," Tigress simply stated. Po flinched.

"EW! Now I have that image in my head, Ugh!" Po grimaced. Tigress gave a small smile at Po's reaction.

"Next question," Tigress said, getting another card. "'What would you do if someone you loved was dating someone better than you?' Oh... that seems a little ... blunt." Po was quiet for a while and then became sad.

"I would just let them have a happy life," Po said sadly.

"You don't sound happy about it," Tigress noticed.

"I've had to do that before," Po replied. Tigress didn't know how to reply to that.

"Let's just carry on with the game," Tigress said, changing subjects. Po picked up a card. When he looked at it, he giggled. "What is it?"

"Um... it says 'What if you woke up with two children and one on the way, how would you react'?" Tigress didn't know what to say at first. Her eyes widened, her mouth was closed, and her ear tips reddened. "That! Right, there. That is your reaction," Po laughed. Tigress's shocked face turned into a scowl.

"Why is that funny?"

"Because it's a very surprising question, and I know you," Po said. This only seemed to anger Tigress more.

"Oh? And do you think I would be a bad mother?" Tigress asked.

"What? Of course not! I'm just laughing at your reaction. You would be a great mother," Po encouraged. Tigress smiled.

"Okay, next question," Tigress said, "'What if you suddenly became the ruler of the land? What three rules would you put in place?'"

"One, no stairs," Po stated. Tigress shook her head. "Two, no undercooked dumplings." Tigress had to laugh at that one. "Third, no one picks on each other because of their appearance or what kind of animal they are." Tigress could sympathize with that. Both of them knew what it was like to be picked on because you were different. "Okay, your turn." He picked up a card. "'What if your best friend had a crush on you and loved you? What would you do?'" Tigress was silent for a while.

"I would... I would say I love him too," Tigress said with a smile. Po looked surprised for a while, then he gave a short laugh.

"No, you wouldn't," Po remarked. Tigress almost felt offended.

"Yes, I would."

"No, you wouldn't. In a real life situation, you wouldn't say that to someone who was your best friend."

"Maybe you wouldn't but I would," Tigress replied.

"No, you wouldn't."

"How are you so sure that I wouldn't say I love my best friend. You're my best friend! If you said you loved me I would say I love you back."

"But you wouldn't," Po said, raising his voice a bit.

"How do you know?" Tigress argued.

"Because I DO love you," Po shot back. The room got very quiet. Tigress just sat there quiet and still as Po looked away regretting what he said in the heat of the moment.

"I love you, too," Tigress said, scooting beside him. Po seemed doubtful.

"You're not just saying that because of the game?" Po asked. Tigress seemed a bit nervous.

"Po, I've loved you ever since we've fought Shen. I... I just didn't think you would love someone as rough and edgy as me."

"But that's why I love you. What you call rough, I call tough. What you call edgy, I call strong," Po said. Tigress smiled. Then her tail nervously twitched around.

"Here's another question," Tigress cautiously said. Po was surprised that she went back to the game after that. "What would you do if... someone you loved wanted to kiss you?" Po didn't exactly reply in the way Tigress expected. Po kissed Tigress on the lips. The female tiger jumped a bit at first. Then she slowly eased into the kiss. He felt Tigress's sharp claws lightly digging into his backhead fur. She made sure he wasn't going anywhere. Po slowly put his arms around Tigress's waist, bringing her closer to himself. After a while, Tigress released the panda and they panted heavily. "Okay, that answers that question."

"Yeah," Po panted. "But next time, let's make sure we take out the cards that Viper made. I have a sneaky suspicion that this was her doing." Tigress smiled at the panda's paranoia and kissed him again.

The End