Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

The Snake and the Bird

The night can be very scary. The darkness can be both alluring and haunting. Even with the pale moon for a flashlight, it doesn't really help to figure out what's lurking in the dark. Viper and Crane, on the other hand, didn't have to fear that. The two warriors were on nightly patrol together. It didn't make any sense to patrol alone on different sides of the village. There was definitely safety in numbers. Not only did the two make it safer, but it provided some discussion, or so the thought goes. Crane started to notice that without Po, things become really quiet. And for some reason, Crane felt very awkward around Viper. "Quiet, isn't it?" He squawked out an opening header.

"Yeah," Viper replied. She seemed shaky as well. "It almost makes me wish Po were here." Crane looked down at the slithering snake. "I said almost," Crane smiled.

"Viper, do you think that without Po our lives would be less interesting," Crane asked.

"More of your philosophical thinking, huh," Viper smirked.

"No," Crane protested, "I'm just wondering. Without Po, we wouldn't really be close to each other."

"I think you're right. Po has helped us with a lot of things. Like helping us not split up when we argue with each other. Of course, some of them he does start," Viper remembered.

"But that's what I'm saying. The Furious Five before us separated as well, probably not because they were fighting but for some other reason. How did they stay together?"

"They had Master Oogway. I remember what Master Oogway was like. He never made any sense, he always seemed at ease, and he knew just what to say to help someone. Just like Po."

"Yeah," Crane replied. Then there was another silence.

"Crane, what is your love life like," Viper asked curiously. Crane stumbled.

"Wait, what?" Crane ended up laughing. "I'd expect Po to ask me that."

"Well, Po usually asks us questions that we don't even ask about each other. As a result, Po knows each one of us better than we know each other. So what is your love life like?"

"Heh, what love life?" Crane said sadly. "I don't go out enough to have a love life. Because I'm a kung fu fighter, I don't usually find time to go out and get to know people. When I'm with Po, I am introduced to more people, but none that I've met went across the acquaintance line."

"What about that Mei-Ling girl you had as a friend?"

"Well, she...got married," Crane explained.

"Oh, did you like her," Viper asked, "Like more than a friend?"

"Not really. I mean, she got me out of my shell at the academy, so I've always had a deep respect and admiration for her, but nothing that goes really deep."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Viper sympathized.

"What about you?" Crane questioned, "I know you must have a lot of stories to tell in your love life."

"Why do you say that?" Viper came back.

"Well, you're very pretty and I know that you're admired by a lot of people considering how many letters you get in the mail from Zeng."

"You look at those?"

"No, no, I just notice how many there are," Crane said defensively. Viper slithered low to the ground. Her head seemed to nearly hover over the ground. From this demeanor, Crane could tell she was sad.

"I... I don't really have that much of a love life," She replied. "Sure I have fans but none that I can sit down and just talk to like," She looked up at Crane. "Like you." Crane chuckled nervously. Viper just smiled. "But yeah, I don't have much of a love life."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Crane said. "I'm sure you'll find someone."

"How?" Viper said, quite pessimistically. This was uncharacteristic of her. "I'm pretty sure no one wants to date someone like me."

"What do you mean?" Crane asked, stopping his tracks. "You're a very charming young woman. You and Tigress are practically in your prime. You have time to find someone for you. Trust me, there are many men in the sea."

"Isn't it 'fish in the sea'?"

"Yeah, but you're not going to date a fish, are you?" Crane asked. Viper smiled. She wrapped her body around Crane, slithered up to his face, and kissed him on the cheek. The bird's red face was obvious, even at night.

"Thanks, Crane," She said, slithering down his body back to the ground. "And I'm positive you'll find someone for you as well. You just have to be patient."

"Th-thanks, Viper," Crane stuttered a bit, trying to catch up with Viper. On top of the houses, not far from the two warriors, a black and white panda, and a female tiger stood watching them.

"I told you they were dating," Po whispered to his counterpart as they hid out of sight from the snake and bird. Tigress rolled her eyes.

"She just kissed him on the cheek. You have no idea if they're actually dating," Tigress replied.

"That doesn't mean they AREN'T dating. You have to pay me regardless," Po smiled with an open hand. Tigress looked away annoyed then got a mischievous idea.

"How about a different kind of payment?" Tigress purred. Po always got nervous when she did that. She would also get close to him. She kissed him briefly on the lips. "Let that be my payment."

And then Po fainted. Tigress shook her head as she sat next to the panda, looking at the stars, and also waiting for Po to wake up.

THE END