Lion's Oneshot of Kung Fu Panda Oneshots

The Interesting and Exciting Conversation A Person Can Have with a Pear

Surprisingly, I got this from accidentally dropping a Pear. Don't worry, it's okay.

Comedy isn't my strong point so if you don't laugh at this, I understand.

Po was in the kitchen and strolled into his seat where he picked up a pear. When he was about to eat it, the pear protested, "Excuse me, sir. What are you doing?"

"Well, I was about to eat you," Po replied casually, "What? You don't want me to eat you?"

"No, no, I am perfectly okay with you eating me. But I would like to carry on a conversation with you," the Pear replied. The panda, not even realizing the abnormality of this conversation, welcomed the talk.

"Okay, what would you like to talk to about mister..."

"Pear. Mr. Pear. And could we start the conversation on the blue Marples."

"The what?"

"Oh, they are basically like blue chickens," Mr. Pear replied. Confusion didn't begin to describe what Po was feeling.

"I don't think there are any blue Marples around here."

"Well, the state of the blue Marples is applicable to all. You see, the blue Marples in Long Majesty Land have migrated from their war-torn homes to come to a better place. The Long Majesty Land's inhabitants are filled with red Marples and other kinds of animals."

"So what's the problem?" Po asked.

"You see, the blue Marples have more family connections because their families are important to them. They also give birth to a lot more chicks than the red Marples. However, the red Marples don't like the blue Marples. They say the blue Marples cause crimes and take up the jobs around the Long Majesty's Land, such as egg-sucking," Mr. Pear answered.

"Well, that's not nice," Po commented. "Can't the red Marples do some of the egg-sucking. I'm sure there are more jobs around."

"That's the problem, Po. The red Marples, the same ones that complain about the blue Marples taking up the jobs, won't do the jobs the blue Marples have. It's like someone complaining that you took their job, but when you're fired, they won't do that job."

"Why?"

"Because they see it as 'beneath them'. And the blue Marples are a hard-working bunch," Mr. Pear said. "What do you think the people of Long Majesty Land should do, Po?"

"Well, I think you should let some of the red Marples do the jobs of the blue Marples, have the blue Marples do some other jobs, and see how things turn out. Then the red Marples will see how they need the blue Marples," Po advised.

"So teach them the truth," Mr. Pear smiled, "You are a very wise panda, Po." Then he sneezed. "Excuse me."

"Bless you," Po replied. "What else did you want to talk about?"

"Well, why don't we talk about the theory of Retarded Tolerance?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Pear, I don't know anything about that," Po confessed.

"Then I'll tell you. The theory of Retarded Tolerance is that no one set of a person's values is really relevant to the next. Basically, nothing is forbidden, everything is permitted. It is a theory that wants to be equal with everyone and not be intolerant of anything."

"But that's insane," Po exclaimed. The pear jumped out of Po's hand onto the table, in fear of being squished. He came to stand on the bottom half of his body wher he hopped around to move. "Sorry, Mr. Pear."

"It's okay. Now, why do you say it's insane?"

"People can't just go around without a sense of good and bad. Even I know that, and I try to get around the rules most of the time."