The need.

~Chapter 95~

I walk down the sidewalk slowly dreading facing them. I didn't know what to tell them. I didn't know how to tell them about the deal I made. I just wanted this day to end. I get to the front door and I look up at the camera. I give it a sad look before walking into the warehouse. I hear arguing which sounded like Lee and Shane. I walk to the gym just as Lee was about to throw a punch at Shane. I rush up to him and push him back. He looks at me pissed for a moment before realizing it was me. "Lola?" He whispered. I nodded. 

"What happened? I was gone for maybe five hours." I asked. I noticed a bruise on his nose and I turn to Shane with my arms crossed. "Really? You hit him?" He looks at me surprised for a moment and then rolls his eyes. 

"You weren't here to know why," I shake my head at them. I pushed past Shane to go to the security room. "What are you doing?" I log on to the computer and shut down the cameras. "Lola? Seriously?" He yelled. I unplugged the whole system knowing it would take hours to reprogram. I turn to him. He looked pissed. I give him a small smile before I break down. He wraps his arms around me as I fall to the ground. "Tell me what happened." I shake my head. 

"I lied to him. I told him that the baby was Lee's and that I cheated on you." I cried. He gives me a confused look.

"So he let you go?" I opened my mouth to explain but I look down. 

"No, I killed him. That's how I escaped." I look up at him after not hearing anything for a few minutes. He looks at me with a sad look. 

"I didn't want you to have to deal with that. Killing someone is one thing but to kill your own flesh and blood. You shouldn't have to do that." I look at him differently. For the first time in a long time, it was a different Shane. He looked like a kid who missed his father. A kid who blamed himself for his father's death. A kid who watched his father kill himself and couldn't do anything to stop him. 

"It wasn't your fault," I whisper. He swallows harshly. 

"I should have stopped him before he got to you." I shake my head. 

"Your father's death wasn't your fault." He scuffs and looks away. 

"Lola, don't," I put my hand on his chest causing his body to tense up. He looks down at my hand and at me. 

"Shane it wasn't your fault," He searches my eyes as if he were trying to see if I was lying. He gulps. 

"After all of these years and yet your smile still makes my heart jump," He whispers. I give him a sad look. 

"Don't do that," I whisper. He looks down. His hands left my body and suddenly I regretted saying anything. 

"I was hoping there was a part of you that still loved me but I guess I know there isn't." But he was wrong. Every part of me loved him. But I wasn't planning on being around much longer and giving him false hope was stupid. If I were going to give myself to Mike without him knowing I would have to make him hate me enough to make him not look for me. 

"I'm sorry Shane but I should have told you a long time ago." He nods. I look down. "I don't want to raise this baby." He looks at me shocked. 

"What?" I nod as I look at him. 

"I don't want to be a mother. But I know this is what you want and I know you will make a great father. So when the baby is born she will go to you." He shakes his head. 

"No, Lola. I don't want to raise this baby without you. Together or not I want you to be there." I shake my head. 

"I can't." I stand up and walk out of the room. Lee was standing outside of the door listening to everything. I look at him and he looked both confused and sad. I walk out of the gym and get out of my car. I just wanted to go home. After taking a shower and having 3 mental breaks downs I was finally able to stop crying enough to sit and watch TV. A knock comes from the door and I look at it. I take a big deep breath and get up. I open the door and he gives me a small smile. I close my eyes for a moment. "Shane I-,"