The need.

~Chapter 54~

“Shane and I started dating were because he felt a need to protect me. To protect a child we were supposed to have. I want to find out for myself if that’s the only reason.” I said. Shane kissed my cheek.

“I can tell you that, that’s not the only reason.” He said. I nodded.

“But a picture worth a thousand words,” Freya said. I looked at her knowing that was our way of simply saying things are complicated. I got up and walked out of the room. I walked to the art room that was still locked. I pulled out the key that Shane had given me 3 days ago. I haven’t found the courage to open it. I put the key in the doorknob and unlocked it. I took 3 steps in and gulped. I sighed and picked up a painting I had finished the first week I was here. One of Shane sitting in the sunlighting. He had a smile on.

I walked more in and picked up a painting of Shane is the gym. He was just teaching Derek how to do a perfect roundhouse kick. I got a picture of his leg in the air so close to Derek’s face with a smile on his face. I picked up another one of Freya and Derek in his room. They were watching a movie when I took a picture. But Derek just kept looking at Freya with love in his eyes. I got that on the picture.

I picked up of one in the corner of Shane and I. On the floor with him staring at me. The sunlight hitting us perfectly. I sighed and went into the room with all the cameras. I looked at the picks of Shane I hanging up. Ones I never put up. Shane and I were outside in the pool. At first, I was splashing water at Shane and then he grabbed me quickly. He then kissed me. I never took these. Freya had taken them. I smiled.

“You know this isn’t just some puppy love,” Freya said walking in. I looked at the picture of him and I kissing.

“Yeah, I do,” I said.

“He really cares for you.” She said. I looked at her.

“Yeah, I know,” I said. She smiles.

“You know the day we left I told Derek I loved him for the first time. I was scared he wasn’t going to say it back. But when he did I knew we were meant to be.” She said. I looked at my scar. “You keep looking at that.” She said. I nodded.

“It was the first time Shane actually snap. He locked up his dad without a second thought. The first day I started falling for him.” I said. She smiled. “I killed Marco and I feel no remorse,” I said.

“Lola, I killed your mom and I feel no remorse.” She said.

“But that’s just the thing. I would have felt horrible. I took someone’s life. I should feel bad.” I said.

“They were bad people. They were going to kill us if we didn’t kill them. You feel no remorse because you know you didn’t do it for fun.” She said. I looked down. “Did Shane tell you Lincoln just got out of the ER yesterday?” She asked. I sighed.

“I didn’t even know he was still alive.” I breathed.

“He was barely breathing when he got there.” She said.

“Good for him,” I said. I looked up at her. “I kinda want some alone time,” I said. She nodded.

“You know where to find me.” She said. I nodded and watched her leave. I walked into the art area and picked up a canvas. I sent it to the table and grab a paint brush. My hands become shaky.  I did it in the paint and bring it over the canvas. My hand locked. I let out a breath of air dropping the brush on the counter. I think for a second and walk into the camera room grabbing the picture of Shane and me kissing. I walk out and stand in front of the canvas grabbing a pencil.

“It’s not easy. You can’t just go right back into something like this without any practice.” I heard Adam say. I drop the pencil.

“I’ve never needed to do this as bad as I do now. Why can’t I just be able to do it? It’s not fair.” I said.

“Lola you had your hand broken 16 different ways and cut. I wouldn’t even be able to look at a paintbrush without becoming shaky.” He said. I look down at my hand.

“Why give me a gift and then take it back?” I asked.

“It wasn’t taken. It was just tested.” He said.