The need.

~Chapter 71~

I get Ava to the kitchen after she took a shower and changed her clothes and she sat down at the table after I told her too. Maria turns to see me and smiles but it falls after she sees Ava. "Um?" I shake my head towards her.

"Go on and pick up your daughter. I'm going to make Ave some food." She looks at me.

"But Mr. Grey?" I nod.

"Shane will come looking for me once he finds out. It's okay."

"But I don't want to leave you alone with her."

"She's not alone." I heard James say. I turn to see him leaning on the wall watching Ava. Maria looks at him and back at me.

"Go on." She nods slowly and speed walks out of the room. I go to the fridge and grab out the stuff to make her a sandwich. James glares at her from his spot and Ave looks at the table. I sigh as I finish her sandwich and making him one too. I bring it to her and set it down while setting the other one on the opposite side of the table. I look at him. "Sit." He shakes his head.

"I'm not hungry." I cross my arms.

"I wasn't asking." He opened his mouth to protest but sighed and walked over and sat down. Ava glanced at him as she takes a bite of hers. He looks at her and narrows his eyes. She looks away.

"Are you out of your damn mind?" A voice roared causing me to jump. I turn to see Shane storming in the kitchen looking pissed. I looked at him confused for a second and his eyes shot down my hand. I look down to see my handshaking. He lets out a breath of air and takes a step back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." I cross my arms and look down.

"It's okay."

"Why did you let her out? We agreed she needed to be punished for what she did." My mouth went dry as the memory of the pain of my stomach replayed in my head and I wrap my arm around my stomach as if I still had the stitches. I look up to see him noticing. He grabs my hands. "Are you okay?" He looks in my eyes and I nod. I wasn't but I was trying to be. I wanted to forgive Ava and try to make it work for James's sake but it was hard.

"I thought that if I showed them that I don't hate her for what she did that maybe they could work things out," I said looking away from him.

"Lola you are barely recovering from what happened. Even if you are completely healed your mind isn't. You get random times where you remember the pain and you feel like it's coming back. How do you expect this to work if you can't even look at her?" I look back at him as tears filled my eyes. He pulls my head down at his chest.

"I just wanted to show them that I was trying," I mumbled. He sighs.

"James, take Ava back to her cell once she is done eating. Tomorrow we will try again." I close my eyes as Shane pulls me out of the room. I walk into the room and sit on the bed with my hand on my stomach. He closes the door and looks at me. I take off my shirt and stand up walking towards the mirror. I look at the scars that covered my stomach and my breathing got heavy. Shane comes over and puts his hand on my arm and I look at him through the reflection. "I love how much you care but somethings aren't going to fix themselves so quickly. If James wants it to work with Ava he would make the effort. But right now he wants to be angry with her. You just have to let him know you are there to support him on whatever decision he makes." I look back down my stomach.

"I gave her a chance to finish what she started. There was a second that I wanted her too. To not have to bear the pain or nightmares. To not have to look my father in his eyes and find out the truth. But then I thought about you and I was relieved that she didn't even have a second thought about doing it. She just walked past me as if she were scared I was going to attack her when she wasn't looking." I turn to him as he looks down at me with worry in his eyes. "Shane I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I want to be able to sleep without seeing the nightmares. I want to be able to love you and not feel like I'm holding you back from what you want."

"You are what I want. Whatever you want is what I want. I want to make you happier than you've ever been. I want to wake up every morning with you and be able to kiss you. I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night with you because you had a nightmare. I want to hear how bad it is so I know what you are going through. I want to go through this with you because I don't want you to think for a second that you are alone in this. I am always going to be right here to pick you up when you need me. I am always going to be right here." I smile through my tears.

"I want to get married to you and have a family." He smiles as he kisses my salty lips.

"Okay, beautiful. We can start planning the wedding and start looking for kids to adopt." I nodded and he kisses my forehead.

"Would you be against Freya having your baby?" I whisper. He pulls back and gives me a confused look.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with sleeping with Freya. Not only is she with Derek but I think of her as a sister." I let out a small laugh.

"You don't have to sleep with her Shane. There are other ways for her to get pregnant by you without the sex part." He nods.

"If you are okay with and so is she than I'm okay with it." I nod as I look down. "But I don't want you to feel like you have to do this because I want kids. I'm okay with adopting kids. I will raise them as my own either way." I nod.

"I know but I want to do this for you and for me." He searches my eyes.

"Okay,"