To Keep Going On

73

He hurried to hold the little trembling boy in his arms who thrashed in his sleep.

"Hey... Hey... It's okay... You're okay... You're safe... No one is going to hurt you now... Sh... Its okay..." His voice, soft and warm as he whispered reassurances to the boy, sitting and holding the little boy patiently till he finally calmed down. Once the boy was sound asleep again, he fixed his IV and tried to get up, only to get his shirt being fisted in the little seven years old's hand.

"I think you better stay with him" Kit walked up to him, looking down at the boy in wonder. "This is the first time he calmed down. What did you do to him?" He asked Beam in a hushed tone.

Beam let out a breath and just leaned back, relaxing beside the boy and carefully pulling him in his arms. "Tell me what's wrong with him"

"Medically? Nothing. He's dehydrated and malnourished and above all, he's scared shit!" Kit told him. "Look at him. He'd been tied up for a while and I'm guessing alone and in dark. He's having nightmares and panic attacks and the spasms are due to the lack of oxygen from being duct taped for long"

Beam tightened his grip around the little boy and clenched his teeth in anger. What monster would do this to a poor kid?

He looked at the little seven years old child whose face was thin, lips pale and colorless and his fingers trembled as he held onto Beam's shirt.

"Do you know this kid?" Kit asked him in confusion. "If you do... we need to contact his family"

Beam let out a sigh. "He has no family left if I'm not wrong"

Kit sighed and sat down on the couch at the bedside. "Then I'll call for social services" he looked at Beam, observed the way he gently patted the boy's hair or hummed him a song and he ended up smiling. "Ah, look at you. You used to throw tantrums when you had to accompany me to babysit Dean. But look at you now..." Kit smiled softly at Beam. He stared at his friend for a while, watching him tending to the kid and calming him down effortlessly.

"I am sure it's not easy. Parenting" Kit said and Beam looked up to meet his eyes. Kit smiled. "Changing yourself entirely just to be a parent. You make it seem so easy..." he sighed.

"Oh, it's not" Beam laughed as he strokd the little boy's hair. "I just try to be better. For my kids. I just try to be what m parents couldn't be for me. And seriously, the boys are so lovely. In this whole world... they are the one genuine relation that never hurt me" he said truthfully. Then he looked at Kit. "Do you want kids?"

"Not anytime soon" Kit said right away, blushing. "Unless... well, you know"

"Oh, Tim would want the world with you, I'm sure" Beam laughed. "For two years... I've seen him whipped by you. And even now, after so many years, every time he looks at you, I still see the same look in his eyes. I am sure, one day, he's gonna bind you to him for real. He's gonna marry you and has a dozen children with you and then he's gonna fight the kids for your attention. That's the man he is. You're so damn lucky to have him" he smiled at Kit who smiled back, looking down shyly.

Then Kit looked up at him. "You knew? That he liked me?"

Beam sighed. "He didn't like you. He was madly in love with you. Just mere moments of your attention, even just to curse him, brought life to him. I saw it. I saw him loving you in secret, and it break my heart for him when you didn't even notice his existence till he had to annoy you to make you see him. He... sometimes made me wish to have someone look at me the way he looked at you. But sometimes, he reminded me of myself. I saw myself in him, I saw my mom, my dad, my friends and my life in you. He did all that to gain your attention just like I always caused trouble, just so mom would just talk to me a while longer. Just so you and Pha would nag me longer, that way... so I won't be alone. Just a few more moments of attention, just to tell myself I was not alone. He did that just to tell himself you could see him"