To Keep Going On

4. Going back Home

FLASHBACK

“Let me get this straight, you want to send me off to him? The man who walked out on both you and me for his mistress and never turned back?” he asked his mother in a very low tone, trying hard to control his temper. “You fucking didn’t keep his name with me but… huh, you want to ship me off to him?”

He watched with his heart breaking every moment that his mother didn’t speak to deny it. He huffed and bit his lower lip so as to not tear up. “Wao mother. Wao” he looked away from her. “Am I that much of a bother to you?”

“Beam honey-“

“You never do good with sugar, so drop the endearments please” he said coldly. “I’m not leaving. End of discussion”

“This is no discussion Beam” she spoke.

“It still ends here” he snapped. For the first time ever in his life, he snapped at his mother.

“Baramee Vongviphan!!”

“That, is not my name mother! You took it from me! You! It’s not my credit card that you can take away when you’re pissed and returned when I be a good boy!” he shouted back.

She looked down defeatedly. “Beam…”

“How come he suddenly remember I’m not dead yet?” Beam asked. Then he scoffed. “Let me guess, she didn’t give him a child till now? She should, wasn’t she supposedly younger and more available than you?”

Mother let out a huff. “Do not throw your sarcasm at me boy! I’m the master of that land”
“Well, you sure are, you taught me” Beam retorted.

“Beam… you have to go to him. He wants you to be with him, he wants to make up for the time you two lost” she looked down and sighed before looking back up at him. “And I want that too”

Beam blinked. He felt something break inside of him. He opened and closed his mouth, unable to form words. It took him long before he could speak.

“Y-you made that decision? You want me gone?” he asked in a low tone, just as the door to their study opened and a very tall guy walked in. He froze in his place for a moment, looking at Beam who gave his mother a betrayed look.

“Oh!” Beam chuckled. “You… yeah, you don’t have any use for me, not like I can take over your work… ofcourse… you have him… I’m not useful to you… cut the loose ends, sure” he said in a small tone, looking down. The other guy quietly put the file on the table.

“I’ll be back later aunt”

“Oh no! You stay here” Beam laughed, not looking at either him or his mother. He was always gonna do this. He was going to give it all up to him. But not like this. This was too hurtful.

“Beam—” his mother started but he held up his hand.

“Save it! I don’t care if I’m an inconvenience to you, but I’m not going. I have a life, right here and you don’t have to be in it if you don’t want. I’m not a child you both could decide to keep or ship away when convenient!” he said with hurtful tone and turned to walk out.

“Life? Or a boyfriend?” His mother asked. Both boys gave her wide eyes. She huffed. “Yes, I know. I know all about it. You… God! Beam… how come you ended up dating a guy like that?”

“So that’s what it is about?” Beam asked her. “Me dating a guy? You don’t approve so you want to get rid of me?”

“Beam…” she sighed. “I have always taught you to be proud of yourself. I would be a hypocrite if I hate your life choices. But baby… you are my son. If he makes you happy then… but will he? I know who he is Beam… I know his reputation! I dug out everything about him. How can you put your whole life out for someone like that?”