To Keep Going On

5. The Start

FLASHBACK

"Kitty, you asked me to help" Beam spoke to his fuming short friend.

He came to Kit's dorm to apologize to him though he did not understand what happened. Yesterday, Kit was fine with him saying what he said but today, he was shouting and pushing him.

"Huh, I didn't ask you to tell him I was your boyfriend, what the hell is the matter with you?" Kit snapped.

Beam gaped at his friend before he could find his voice. "But... I was just trying to- huh! What the hell Kit, it was your problem, I wasn't even a part of it. I remember, you came to me and asked me to help get rid of him! I did what you asked, that's what you said"

"I didn't ask you to make him think I'm into you, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Kit shouted.

"Wa... ah! So, you like him? Is that it?" Beam massaged his temples.

"Why, you want me to like you? Is that why you did it?" Kit huffed. "Is that what this is all about?"

"What are you talking about?" Beam asked in confusion. "You think... you think I like you? Huh, why? You're that big ray of sunshine? Why would I want that when I know you inside out?" he said it in anger but mentally beat himself for it.

"Yeah, and what am I?" Kit asked. "I'm that bad of a person that you can't believe no one can like me? Yeah... a man like Ming wants me, he must be having bad intentions"

"KIT! What the hell?" Beam was getting more and more shocked with everything Kit kept on saying to him. "When did I ever say that?"

"You never contradict me when I said that, you just happily agreed to help get rid of him" Kit accused.

Beam opened and closed his mouth. "I... Kitty I've known you my whole life. I know you feel insecure all the time, you then take your insecurities out on people who care for you and... it's always pointless to try to reason with you. And okay... I didn't hesitate to help because... I didn't feel he's good enough for you, I should say that but I'm sorry... he's too, I don't know, I just feel this in my gut that something is extremely wrong with him" he chuckled. "Sometimes... I even feel cold when he's around"

"That's not funny" Kit said seriously. "And you said, he's not good enough for me because you don't like him?"

Beam sighed. "No. Not just that. You are the one who thinks he's too good for you which, I do not agree with. He is immature and he's a player, like me. I know what I am like and I do not want that for my best friend.

You are right to be feel insecure but about him hurting you, not about yourself Kit, you're a great person if you could just... show your emotions with words not you fist and curses. But still, if you wanna be with him it's your decision and I will sup-"

"So, you made a joke out of our friendship because you think he's like you? He's isn't a heartless sex addict like you! Huh, what a nosy bitch!" Kit said cruelly.

Beam blinked. He breathed in and out to calm himself. "I just... come on, why did you ask me to get rid of him if you liked him? You were acting like you were disgusted by him, you were acting mad at him! Then you asked my help and now suddenly I'm the bad guy? Come on" he tried to pat Kit's shoulder but Kit pushed his hand away.

"Don't touch me!"

Beam stared at him for a long time. "Kit... fine, you are... mad at me and I'm... I get it, I'm sorry" he said in a small tone. "I'm going, talk to me when your head is in the right place!"