98.*

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Spotify playlist (listen in order): https://tinyurl.com/yckr7vwb

-Neymar POV-

Javier walked away to find Anada, leaving Oscar and me with a newfound awkwardness between us, one that hadn't existed before tonight. "So, uh, Katerina told me the news. Congrats on PSG," he said after a minute of silence.

I smiled a tight smile. "Thank you. She mentioned you were a fan of PSG," I replied.

He nodded. "One too many drinks with the ambassador's son at a dinner at the Chilean Embassy in France and Javier and I ended up practicing free-kicks with him in an empty Parc des Princes," he chuckled.

"Seems like you all have some good memories together, huh?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Javi and me? For sure. I'm an only child but Javi is definitely the brother I never had. We were all really close—like the breakfast club Anada used to say," he nodded.

As he said her name, I saw Anada and Katerina emerge from the powder room in the far right of the room and disappear again into the crowd, heading in opposite directions. Katerina was heading over to another bar and I was glad it wasn't this one. "And Katerina?" I muttered. 

He noticed the shift in my tone and shifted his weight to the side. Oscar had a unique ability to read the room and from the breath he drew in, I could tell he heard me loud and clear. "Neymar- look, I- I don't want to overstep but you should know I have her best interest at heart. I'm just looking out for her. I'll always look out for her," he said sincerely.

"And I respect that," I assured him, "but I'd respect it more if you were honest about why."

He exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "You're right," he said. "You know, Rina always moved a lot when we were growing up and every single time, she told me she'd be back and she came back every single time. She met Damon and at graduation when she told me she chose him, it felt like she left with no intention of coming back, and even when I'd seen her again, she wasn't all the way there. She was different. I never thought she would go through what she went through with him and I blamed myself because I let her go. I guess all this time I've just... been waiting for her to come back," he admitted.

"Are you still in love with her?" I asked, bracing for an answer I already knew.

"I can't imagine a day I'm not," he replied.

.

My thoughts had been moving at lightspeed and every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Katerina's face. It didn't help that my conversation with Oscar was so fresh in my mind. "It means I'm done waiting. I can't be your friend anymore, Katerina," I had said to her. It wasn't like me to give up but how could I compete? She and Oscar had a history together that I couldn't catch up to. And as much as I didn't want to give credit to Anada, she was right--friends that have sex aren't friends. 

She was going through a lot of chaos right now, but so was I. It was selfish of me, I knew that but it was selfish of her to omit the truth from me. Yet, I couldn't define what I was feeling right now. I was sad, even a little mad but the hurt I felt was heavy. I knew I had never loved anyone like Katerina and at this moment, I didn't think I ever would again. However, that love cost me a lot. It cost me my sanity. Here I was, a suspended, fined, a world-class athlete whose name was in the headlines for anything but my athletic ability. I lost myself in loving her and I couldn't afford to do that. PSG was a fresh start.

The Paris skyline greeted me in what seemed like seconds after taking off from the Santiago airport. "PAPAI!!!!" Davi squealed, running towards me the second I descended the steps of the jet. It was midmorning in Paris when we landed and Carol and my son had come to the airport to congratulate me on my transfer deal ahead of the press conference.

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