IN RUINS- James Potter

chapter sixty eight

Atticus Bulstrode wasn't a jealous person, nor did he claim to be. Truthfully speaking he was probably the most non chalant person at Hogwarts, ignoring all the problems in his life and simply wanting to live.

He pretended to have zero problems with his life, the lingering feeling of knowing he won't be able to fix them always plummeted his day. He was always the person who wanted love, but nobody would give it to him. It first started with his best friend of the world, realizing she didn't like him more than a friend, then using her old best friend as a rebound to only realize she had to get an arranged marriage.

And the one he really liked broke up with him because it wasn't safe for her. It seemed like nothing was fair in his eyes, acting as if it doesn't matter to him, moving onto the next. Everyone has something he wanted, but the one thing he would like, was a best friend— and not a girl to cling on to.

That boy was Severus Snape, until they suddenly grew apart, not properly speaking to each other after Atticus felt a sort of pain when he saw him talk to Lily Evans more. It's what made Atticus hang out with Nora more, becoming inseparable.

It seemed like everyone had someone else, while Nora had regulus, he also had Evan, and when Severus had Atticus, he had Lily. But who does Atticus have?

Now Nora has James Potter, a tall lad that wasn't even an option for Nora until he made her fake date him— which Atticus knew from the beginning was a dumb idea. Atticus couldn't understand why Nora went for him, even knowing he was the reason Sirius moved out, becoming a disowned child that now lives with the Potters.

Was he missing something?

Being alone in the library was comfortable for him, enjoying the quietness, doing his homework in peace. As much as he enjoyed the company of Nora, regulus or Evan, sometimes he needed to be away from them, needing to be with himself, sitting near one of the windows to see the trees swaying back and forth in the wind.

He felt like a tree, being pushed right and left sometimes, never having control of his life. And when he did, he was practically getting chopped up and getting used. He couldn't believe the fact he compared himself to a tree, his life being that pathetic.

Turning to see a boy mumbling to himself, Atticus widened his eyes when he realized it was Peter Pettigrew, a friend of Sirius, but he never always saw them with the clan. His hair was more ruffled than usual, he was in total distress. And why shouldn't he be, there was only two more months until their N.E.W.Ts, and Atticus knew nothing.

"Alright Pettigrew?" Atticus asked, genuinely concerned for him, especially because of the way none of his friends were with him. Pettigrew looked up from his parchment, his face going a little red. Pettigrew always seemed to the nervous type around new people, sticking to his comfort people, which  always confused Atticus considering who his friends were.

"Oh, err— not really, just trying to remember the ingredients of the potion we just brewed." He never held eye contact with Atticus, looking at his forehead instead. He didn't know what, but Atticus felt a little bad for Pettigrew, taking a second to respond. "Oh, I can help you with that, I wrote them down." He offered, kinder than usual, which threw him off.

Pettigrew didn't know what to say, stammering a little bit. Atticus let him do it as he grabbed his book and handed it to the late, his face more red from when they began talking. "I— thank you so much." He said, shocked.

Atticus shrugged his shoulder, taking his thanks and going back to his work. "How come you're alone? Where are your friends?" Pettigrew asked, building up some confidence with Atticus.

"Oh uh, they're all busy doing other things."

"Like Nora being with James?" Pettigrew rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "It's been hard to sleep when you hear James and Remus talking about it every night. Surprised Sirius doesn't hear them talk." Atticus had a little smirk on his face, seeing the way Pettigrew panicked a little, realizing he shouldn't have told anyone, running a hand through his blond hair.

"Pettigrew I already knew, did you forget I'm Nora's best friend?" Atticus sarcastically asked, the boy nervously laughing. "I'm sorry." He said. Atticus shrugging his shoulders. "All good mate."

After receiving his book back, Pettigrew gave a half hearted smile, hearing him about to say something. Atticus didn't know if he was still nervous to talk, feeling like it wasn't his place to talk.

"I uh, heard about you and Mary, sucks innit?" He asked, feeling bad for him. "Yeah well, it wasn't looking so good for her anyways, considering where my family comes from." Atticus honestly spoke, shrugging his shoulders.

"Yeah it's not looking so good for anyone these days, quite scary if you ask me." Pettigrew stated, shaking his head. Atticus could only wonder why his friends weren't with him, not thinking it was his place to ask— even though Pettigrew did.

Silence overcame the two again, Atticus looked back at the trees, seeing two people down below, doing somersaults as there was a little bit a hill. Atticus would've loved to join them, being a teenage boy struggling to find his way, but with those two, he always felt protected.

Theo and Damon were the closest thing to an older brother, where as Evan and regulus were always little brothers in his eyes. He never found a balance between the two.

"Err, thanks again for helping me." Pettigrew said, looking at his watch and gathering his things. "No problem Pettigrew." Atticus cheered him, going back to his own work when he heard him say something; inaudibly.

"What?"

"Peter— call me Peter." He clarified, a small smile appearing on his lips. "Alright, see you around, Peter."

Was he becoming friends with him?

Atticus watched the boy leave, replaying of how undeniably awkward it felt talking to him. And it wasn't because of him, nor was it about Pettigrew, but simply because that was the first time he ever spoke to the lad, throwing him off.

Atticus couldn't bare staring out the window anymore, Theo and Damon still there, deciding to pack up his bag and head back to the common room, putting one of the books away before leaving, wishing Madame pince a good day.

"Atticus."

His ears rang for a second, wondering where that noise came from, sending a tingle all the way down to his feet, hearing it echo. Either he was hearing things, or someone called his name. But it didn't sound like anyone he knew, turning around to see if there was anyone near bad, until it finally came to his senses.

He was contacting him again, in the weirdest way possible. "Please stop." He whispered to himself, closing his eyes. He almost felt paralyzed; wondering how he was able to contact him even in Scotland, forgetting the fact he moves time to time.

He has family in Scotland.

"Time is ticking my boy, you have a crucial decision to make."

His voice echoed again, the same tingling feeling. His shoulders went tense along with his neck, not wanting to move as he kept walking faster.

"I know that, and I'm still thinking." He said, hoping he couldn't see what he was thinking of.

"Choose wisely, because one of the answers is the correct one."

The echoed soon stopped, heaving a little bit as he stood outside, his back leaning against one of the walls, sliding down. "I don't like this." He huffed, shaking his head. Sometimes ignoring things wasn't always in his favour, pretending that he has no other choice to become a death eater, with no plan of escaping it.

He truly hated his life.

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Atticus is in his sad girl era ahaha, anywho, I don't have much to say but thank you for 89K reads! I remember when I still had 4K; I'm so greatful for all of you that continue to read it! Love!