IN RUINS- James Potter

chapter one hundred and fourteen

The park was the most depressing place to be, and yet it felt like she should be here right now. The snow on the swings were swatted to the ground as she sat down and ignored the coldness. She didn't deserve anything, she deserved Azkaban at this point; and she would be okay with it.

For once she thought life wouldn't bite her in the ass, that she found a person who would understand the situation she was in, but even she couldn't vouch for the life she chose. She had a choice to live or die, to protect her brother or not, and once again she went against her better judgment to protect the boy she's been raising.

Nora Black was in a position nobody wanted to be in, and it sucked. She couldn't describe how much she hated herself simply because there was a word that wasn't strong enough. She just couldn't believe she confessed to all the lying she's done to James potter for over two years.

She ruined his life with this truth bomb, as much as she didn't know what love was, this isn't what James wanted. He never thought in a million years Nora would also be a death eater. Nora kept it a secret so good, it made her realize she's just the same as her cousins and family. Nora Black was just as twisted and sick as everyone in the Black Family Tree.

"we just need to work this out." There was no way to work this out, what's done was done. Instead of sitting at the meetings, she's sitting on a kids swing, on Christmas Eve as it began to snow again.

Her life was truly in ruins.

Throwing her cigarette off the ground and walking to walking to Lestrange manor for another meeting, she was a wreck to even see, nobody understanding what was happening to her. But one person knew, and Nora was letting it be known to him.

"Holy shit what happened to you?" Asked Theo, Evan punching him in the arm. Nora lazily turned around to see the boys, her hair in a messy braid with her face pale as ever. She was in no mood to be here, not after what it's done to her relationship.

"Doesn't matter, why are we even here?" Nora groaned, her brother staring at her with disbelief. He knew she was upset over something, but never thought she was going to be like this, sighing.

Turning around to see Atticus come through the door, he looked just as rough as Nora, both looking at each other and wondering what had happened to the other. "I haven't seen you in a week." Nora told him, scratching her arm.

"Like you've seen my letters." He snapped, Nora rolling her eyes at his attitude, both proceeding to sit at their ends of the table. "Ass." Nora mumbled to herself, crossing her arms as the dark lord entered the room.

Silence overtook the room, he too was disappointed in the people that were a follower for him, sitting in his chair and staring at them. "You all fail at life and quite honestly, it's a horror, watching all of this. I could kill of you, is that what you want?"

Yes, Nora said in her head, her eyes widening s little when she realized he could hear her, his head turning to her but she pretended to be more interested in the table.

"Miss.Black, you've been quiet, any new updates with the order?" He asked her, Nora pressing her lips into a fine line. "No my lord, it's been quite slow on their end." Nora randomly said, not wanting to do this anymore on this shitty day she's been having.

"Well then, we've failed so much we've made Dumbledore rethink his life choices." The dark lord humoured, small laughs mixing in the air filled of dark magic. "Waste my time again and you'll be killed. Dismissed." Sighing at the ten minute meeting, Nora got up, looking over to Atticus who saw her eyes, both going outside.

"Peter wants to be a death eater."

"I told James I'm a spy for the death eaters."

Needing to backup on their stories, Nora stared at Atticus with his as the boy did the same, confused and needing more context. "He doesn't belong with the order Nora, he wants to be here and be apart of something. I can't tell if he's gone crazy or something but it's been eating me alive." He rambled, rubbing his temples.

"Well... what do we do?" Nora asked, not needing another person betraying James at the moment. "I don't know, he's just going off the rails— wait a fucking minute! You told potter?" Atticus hissed, grabbing her away from the house and walking further away.

"Yes but that doesn't matter. If Peter joins then that's just another person betraying James. We can't let that happen Atticus, I won't let it happen." Nora gritted, grabbing Atticus by the collar, desperately staring into his eyes.

She wasn't herself, and Atticus could see how this was eating her up, nodding his hand as he grabbed her hands to knock it off, smelling the smoke on her. "Okay, okay we won't." He told her, Nora putting her hands to herself now.

"So, what'd he say?"  Atticus asks, Nora shaking her head, feeling overwhelmed again. Not creating eye contact anymore, she felt her chest get very tight, her back tensing up. She didn't know what was happening, but she knew she wasn't enjoying this, the boy rubbing her back.

She dished to say anything, Atticus already understood, hugging her as the girl began to cry, unable to say anything. "It's okay, we'll fix this." Atticus whispered, Nora leaning her head on his shoulder, not believing him.

"Nothing can fix this."

He felt numb. Nothing could better describe how he was feeling these days, barley getting out of bed as he went in a trance, staring at all the connections he's done to finally see when Nora began lying to him.

His heart nearly stopped as he realized it was the summer before seventh year she became a death eater, and then winter break when Dumbledore trusted her. She was a death eater all those months and even during her speech of becoming part of the order; she pretended to give a shit, because she needed to.
Everything was finally adding up, which makes more sense why she got in contact again with Nott and Avery.

James didn't know what to do anymore, laying in his bed for days on end. It all felt so wrong for the path she was heading down, and his comment to her didn't help. Yes, he's mad, but Nora wasn't never out of the family, she was always sacrifice herself, because regulus is one too.

He didn't like knowing all of this, walking back and forth in his room, wondering what to do with this information. He still saw the Nora he truly loved, but he didn't like the things she was doing now, but then again, he didn't always know.

"Sweetheart, don't you want to get up now? It's nearly three." Said euphemia, knocking on the door while it opens. James turned away from his window, sitting up to see his mother. "I don't want to, Im just tired mum." James mumbled, his mother walking over.

"James, I know you're not tired you're sad. Did you and Nora get into an argument?" She asked, coming to sit beside him. Taking the blanket off and looking at his mum, James nodded, sighing.

"It's just been difficult. I mean, the news with Bellatrix, not to mention the people she's around, are death eaters. And if she's with the order, they'd be pretty mad if they saw her go against everything she stood for. I'm just worried for her is all." James said, which wasn't all a lie, but it wasn't what he was worried about.

"Honey, Nora has survived every obstacle that life has unfortunately thrown at her. She's a fighter and a strong girl. It's one of the reasons why you like her so much. With you supporting her every step of the way, she'll be reminded why she did what she needs to do. You shouldn't give up on someone you love."

Taking his mother's advice, James lingered on the last part of what she said, pressing his lips into a fine line, hearing kids outside. Getting up and seeing it be kids throwing snow at each other, James remembered how he was like that, frowning when knowing he wasn't in his childhood anymore but now an adult— struggling with his girlfriend being a spy.

She was a damn good spy, he'll give her that credit.

"Thanks mum, regulus leaves soon again so she'll probably want to spend time with him and Rosier, I'll see her soon." He lied once again, Effie hitting his leg. "But you best get up now, Sirius bought a phone and needs help with it." She said, getting off the bed and leaving him.

Watchinf the door slowly close again, James put his face into his hands, taking a deep breath and wondering what to do now, feeling the lump in his throat getting better. He felt simply screwed.