IN RUINS- James Potter

chapter eighty two

Death, she didn't know what it was like, but she could feel herself slowly slipping away from reality. Her whole life has felt weird, almost on repeat, the same thing occurring everyday. The minute James Potter came into her life, she was turned into a better person, for herself, and for the ones she cares about.

Love was conditional in her life, and unfortunately it was because the love and care her parents showed; using them as bait towards anything. Nora was surprised at how they hadn't found a suitable husband for her yet, curious as to why they didn't at least pretend; having regulus be taken care of beautifully, she was leftovers.

Staring outside as it began to rain, Nora and Atticus looked out the windows and re-examined their life when they saw the Gryffindors run and play out there. Laying her head on his shoulder, Nora saw the way Lupin was twirling Sirius and soon got shy, smirking a little when her eyes shifted to Lily and James, her heart fluttering a little at how Lily was looking at James, her eyes full of lust.

The same way Nora looks at James.

"You think we will ever be loved like how they are?" Atticus asked, breaking the lingering silence between the two. "Like from our parents? I doubt it." The brunette spoke, scratching her face, being a little itchy.

"They just look so fun and care free, even in the middle of a war they are able to enjoy life, while we have to be careful about where to walk." Nora lifted her head off of Atticus as they kept staring out the window, knowing he was right.

Nora chose to not say anything, turning away from the window and sitting on the bench, fiddling with her fingers. "Can I ask you something?" Nora asked, looking at Atticus to make him sit down. "What's wrong?"

Her heart was beating a little fast, staring at the ring James gave her, along with the matching ring with Sirius, frowning. "The lying, the sneaking, I feel bad for James that I can't visibly be seen with him. He cares so much for me and I'm worried about slipping out the fact I am practically on the dark side."

Taking a shaky breath, Nora looked at Atticus with sadness, pressing her lips in a fine line. "It's because you care for him too, don't you?" Asked Atticus, grabbing her hand to see the ring.

"You wouldn't be wearing this, if you didn't care for Potter." he explained, admiring the ring a little. It's been weighing on her mind for a while, in fact the minute she came home for the summer, she wondered what we intentions were with James, how would this relationship even work?

"But I can't keep lying to him, I don't like this Atticus. I feel wrong. He just confessed he fancies me in front of Sirius and for what? For me to string him along?" Nora asked, choking on her words, feeling her eyes water.

It's always been in the back of her head if her and James, everytime she looked at him, she pretended things were going to be okay, but it's been two weeks since her birthday and suddenly she's gaining sense after being 19.

Maturing was something Nora never thought would happen.

"Exactly what are your intentions with Potter? Get married? No offence Nora but I don't think you should." Atticus expressed his true opinion, Nora looking at him.

"Why not?" Nora asked, furrowing her eyebrows at that comment. Atticus took a minute to say what he wanted to, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Because you need to love yourself before you love someone else.. and to me, I don't think you're happy of who you're becoming." She hated the fact Atticus knew her too well, sighing and looking at him.

"Do you love him?"

"I don't... I don't like what you're asking me." Nora sighed, feeling guilty about sharing her feelings, wanting to cry.