Sang's Freedom (Original And Rewritten)

Chapter 68: Let's talk about Sex...Wait No. I Meant Kissing

-Chapter 68-

Sang Sorenson's POV:

When I closed the door to Matt's hospital room, my heart was racing, and I squeezed my eyes closed trying to shake off my blush.

Matt, with his dark red, nearly black hair and serious eyes (eye). His stubbled, strong jaw.

No, Sang! You can't keep doing this to yourself. I took a breath. You're becoming what Mother feared most: a whore. I can't be like that. I can't let my heart get the best of me.

I couldn't like Matt. He...just saved me. There's nothing more to it, I thought, convincingly...trying to ignore the was my heart was still thumping at the memory of closing my eyes with our faces so close. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I smacked myself in the head, sinking to the floor before losing my fingers in my hair. So fucking stupid.

As I went to smack myself again, a hand caught my wrist, and I looked up dimly to see Dr. Green.

His sandy blond hair was partly in his face and his mouth had hardened into a tight line. "I leave you alone for five minutes, and you're hitting yourself, Pookie? What is this about?"

I couldn't find my voice as his green eyes echoed the sadness and confusion of my own.

"Come here. We can go talk."

***

Dr. Sean Green's POV:

So, I brought us into a supply closet. Sue me. It was a quiet place we could talk.

The last thing we needed was Sang to start inflicting self-harm. To see her there, all sunken on the floor as she practically ripped out her hair. My heart squeezed painfully. I was a terrible doctor.

This was my fault.

I clicked on the light of the supply closet just as Sang began to sniffle. "I'm sorry Dr. Green. It's not like that. I just... I'm so overwhelmed, I can't think straight."

"Please don't do it again," I asked, lowering myself to her height so I could look into her eyes. "Please?"

She stuck out her bottom lip. "I didn't mean to, Dr. Green. I'm sorry. I'm just confused. You said I could kiss everybody, and I tried to kiss a few of my brothers, but it didn't feel like how I thought it would feel to kiss a brother. I'm pretty sure brothers and sisters don't kiss anyhow, because Marie and I never kissed, and if Marie was a boy, I still wouldn't kiss her--"

"Sang," I chuckled. I couldn't help myself as I watched her run a hand through her blonde hair to pull it away from her frustrated face.

"Dr. Green, I can't like you all like this. It's not right."

"Like us, like what, Pookie?"

She suddenly found a smudge on the floor very interesting and scuffed her shoe over it. "You know... like like..."

"All of us?"

She shook her head. "I don't know...I mean...I know I like you... and Victor... and Luke and Gabriel... and Silas for sure... and maybe North a little like that, but you better not tell him!" Sang bit her lip, unable to meet my gaze.

"And the others?"

"I'm not sure...I haven't really spent much time with the others..."

Others, well the others were who? Owen, Kota, and Nathan. It was their own fault for not putting themselves out there more. Maybe she could grow to love them? Or maybe she wouldn't. Owen already loved that cat of his quite a bit, and Kota had been weird with relationships since his father left. Nathan... was still a bit immature...

"There's more, Dr. Green." Sang crossed her arms over her chest. "And don't be mad."

Mad? How could I ever be mad at my sweet little--

"I think I might like like Matt, too."

Well, as Gabriel would say:

Fuck.

Matthew Eli was not family.

I thought I had been very specific about that when I had laid out the kissing rules. Dammit! Had Sang already kissed him? She had talked to him for longer than I expected. I had thought the guy was out cold, but then again Sang has a special way of warming up a room.

"He saved my life," Sang went on, "and he and I have this bond..."

This bond? This bond? What the heck does that mean? I'm a doctor for crying out loud, and I know that the only bond you two have is a bond caused by trauma! There's nothing substantial there! Sang couldn't love Matthew the way she cared for me or the others!

It was too much.

My heart was turning black in my chest, and I tried not to let my fear or insecurity show on my face. I didn't want my heart broken. Losing Sang would hurt worse than finding out that I was adopted. My parents hadn't even been the ones to tell me.

When I was in grade school, before the Academy took me in, the school bully Jeremy Jenkins was shoving my face into the sandbox, and I was crying like a baby, calling for my mama, when Jeremy Jenkins started laughing. 'Why are you callin' for her? She's not your real mama.'

'What?'

'Look at you! You're white! Your mama's yellow. Your daddy's yellow. And you're white! Two Chinese don't make a little white cry baby like you!'

I stopped crying then. My fists balled up at my sides and I punched Jeremy Jenkins right in his big fat nose. 'We are Japanese!' I had screamed.

Mama and Papa told me the truth that night. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Jeremy Jenkins had been right. They weren't my parents. My real parents threw me into the dumpster behind the hospital in which I now worked. They didn't even have enough love for me to put me in a basket. No. I was half suffocated in a blanket by the time my adoptive mama found me.

It took years to believe that I was worth something. My lack of self-value was a huge reason Papa had pushed me into the medical field and why he urged me to try so hard. When the Academy took me on I soared.

Nothing could hurt as bad as getting told the people who were supposed to love you more than anyone in this world threw you away like garbage, at least, that was what I had thought until Sang Sorensen violated the rules of our kissing agreement.

Sang was still talking, and I had missed all of it, still too shocked for words.

"Dr. Green? You aren't angry, right? I'm going to keep my lips to myself from now on. You'll explain it to the others? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I definitely don't want North to be right for worrying about me breaking up the family. I don't want to lose any of you."

She didn't want to lose any of us.

That was reassuring.

I managed to conjure up my most flirty smile. The one that always managed to make Sang blush. "Whatever you want, Pookie. I handle the boys, if you promise to not hurt yourself anymore."

"I promise."

"Cross your heart?" I ask, raising a brow.

Sang made an 'x' over her heart. "Cross my heart and--"

I put my hand over her lips, chuckling. "Don't you ever say that next bit, Pookie."

I leaned forward and kiss the place where my fingers covered her lips.

Sang wanted to take things slow. Alright. Fair enough seeing as there was so many of us and we had a sex ring to take out of commission. I would go as slow as Sang needed if it meant her staying in our lives forever.

"Let's get out of here. I think we've kept North waiting long enough." I grinned at her, catching her hand in mine, and when she smiled back at me so brightly. I knew everything was going to be okay.