TenRose/TenPetals one shots Doctor Who -COMPLETED-

I will heal him

Rose's POV

I sat awaiting for a certain John Smith, his appointment was only a few minutes away. I truly hope he is on time. From what I understood about him, he had said he had many reasons as if to why he was coming; no telling who he is today. Then again handling people's problems was my job.

"He was rather bouncy, didn't sound very traumatized. But he did trail off a bit, when he was explaining that he was coming here because as a Doctor himself he knew something was wrong." Donna my secretary explained. I smiled and nodded.

"So when is his appointment? Must be rather busy if he's a Doctor." I muse, as I spun around in my chair. This new office was truly lovely, minus it having belonged to the famous Hannibal the Cannibal. But it was cheap, and I didn't mind it all that much.

Never have I ever been truly afraid of such things, and when I was I held through seemingly fine. There truly is a reason all psychiatrist have their own psychiatrist. How cool would it be to have Dr. Lecter as my psychiatrist, minus the eating people he truly was a nice man.

I've only met him once before, he had been very supportive of my career choice and even offered to help with patients that I couldn't help myself.

My thoughts where cut off when my clock went off, and their was a knock on the door. John Smith certainly was a man who liked being on time I assume. I dusted off my dress suit, before I opened the door. His jaw went slack and instantly tightened as he smiled.

He was a very handsome man, his hair lightly tousled; stuck together in that fashion with gel.

"John Smith," I smile happily, as we shook hands.

"Rose Tyler," He said in a great fashion.

"Come on in, take a seat anywhere that will make you comfortable." I urge, before stepping aside so he could step in.

"As you should know Mr. Smith everything said here is confidential. Please think of here as a safe place, and if I feel as if I cannot help you. I will prefer you to someone I think will be able to help you." I tell him, much like I tell all my other patients.

"Thank you Ms. Tyler," John replied graciously before laying down on the cot.

"Now Mr -"

"John's alright." He said confidently, but it felt more like a lie.

"Alright John, so from what I know you're a Doctor. Is there anything about your career that is causing you some trouble?" I ask.

"Yes, not much though. Sometimes I become upset with the fact I can't save everyone." He sighed, before running his hand's through his hair.

"That's not it though, it's also the many hours it takes up. I've always been alone, work does take up an awful lot of time."

John was certainly a talker, it was quite nice. It was upsetting that he couldn't save everyone, but he doesn't seem to have the best of self-esteem. That is the most plausible reason he blames himself, but death damages a person far beyond reason can.

"John, can you tell me what you think of yourself?" I ask, his brown eyes piercing my soul as if he was giving all he had just to tell me anything at all.

"Well, I don't know really. I guess I'm unworthy of the praise I receive when I do save a life. Sometimes I feel helpless, well maybe I always feel helpless even when I know the procedure like I know my home. Second nature really, but I hold lives in my hand when I'm not sure that I can even hold my life in my hands." John breathed slowly, as his gaze fixated on the ceiling.

"Do you know as if to why you don't feel worthy?" I ask, earning a nod. From the side I could see his teary eyes, and was about to tell him he shouldn't feel obligated to continue. But of course he continued. 

"I'm not, people have died because of my mistakes or because I didn't try hard enough. I lost my family due to a horrendous fire but even then they didn't care for me much. If my own parents couldn't love me, how could I love myself? I could have saved them, better yet I could have gone in their and burnt with them."

"Death does have a frightening impact John, if the fear of loosing more patients is truly your concern I suggest finding a different practice. But if not I would be happy to talk you through it, if you do have the misfortune of another death I will be able to help. John you are a very accomplished person, and I think that our first few sessions will focus on helping your self-esteem." I continue, as he looked up at me.

"So you will be taking me again?" He asked, springing up happily. I nodded, closing my notepad and turning off the recorder I had set earlier.

"I really hope I will be of some good service to you John,"

"I do too, Ms - "

"Rose, anything that will make you more comfortable remember?" I giggle.

"Thank you, for listening. I'll see you again?" He asks.

"Tuesday, we have an opening tuesday. Any time except 2:40-3:20."

"I will see you tuesday, lets say 4:00 through 5:20?" He asks.

"I'll see you then John,"

"Actually, if you could; could you call me-"

"The Doctor?" I provide.

"Yea," he replies sheepishly.

His self-esteem must be all over the place, obviously gives himself a god complex to make himself feel better. Also your job can define you as a person. Maybe next time I can ask him why he prefers just the Doctor. 

"I will see you soon Doctor,"

"Okay Rose."