"Hello?" Pt. 2

August 26th 2016

"This wardrobe sorting thing isn't going so well."

"No?"

"Not really. It's actually really difficult."

"It's because you have too much stuff."

"I do not."

"You do. Are you in your wardrobe now?"

"Yeah."

"Take a photo."

"Of what?"

"Of what you're currently looking at in the closet."

"Ok, hold on so I can multi-task."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Did you get it?"

"Jesus, Soph. How many shoes do you have there? I thought your wardrobe in your place in London was overflowing. You 've only been in New York for a few months. How do you accumulate all those new items?"

"They mainly come from the Vogue wardrobe department."

"Next question- why do you have so many Chanel shopping bags?"

"Because they look nice."

"It's a bit showy."

"I guess. I'll leave them here then."

"Last thing- you do know there's a dog in your wardrobe, right? Or is it a teddy?"

"It's a dog."

"You got a dog?"

"His name is Dante and he's Jasmine's dog. She flew out to London today and left Dante with me."

"Dante?"

"The dog."

"Yeah, I got that. But really? Dante?"

"Mhm. I think her brother named him."

"Jasmine has a brother?"

"Yes. She has several. They're all half-brothers. Jasmine's dad was a bit of a playboy in his younger days... actually, he's still a playboy. Baby number nine on the way."

"Nine?!"

"Nine."

"Jesus."

"If you ask Jasmine, though, she'll tell you she's an only child."

"Why?"

"Because she doesn't like people knowing that her dad slept around."

"Fair enough. If my dad had been... never mind, I'm not going to finish that sentence. My dad was a dog."

"Haha, yeah but Jasmine's dad is a whole different breed of dog."

"I guess. Nine kids, though. That's stamina."

"I think it's the accent."

"Accent?"

"He's Australian."

"And girls like Australian accents?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Don't go thinking about being the baby momma for baby number ten."

"Ew, no. No, no, no."

"No?"

"No. No, no, no."

"Yes?"

"No!"

"Haha, ok, I get it. Right, back to your wardrobe- have you even packed anything?"

"Nope. I basically came in here, sat on the chair and stared at everything."

"I think I finally understand why you need Jasmine with you. You can leave all the sunglasses Stateside."

"What, why?"

"Because you're coming back to London. In October. There won't be any sun here."

"But... I have so many pretty pairs."

"You're a magpie."

"What?"

"Magpie, like the bird. They like shiny stuff. You like pretty things. You're a magpie."

"I don't want to be a magpie."

"Then ditch the sunglasses."

"But-"

"No buts. God, does Jasmine put up with your attitude when you're like this?"

"..."

"Of course, she does."

"It's because she's not a magpie. She's practical. I think I'm gonna give up trying to pack my wardrobe until she's back. Then she has free reign to throw out whatever she thinks I won't need."

"I hope it's everything. You literally already have everything you need here in London, you don't need to bring more with you."

"But-"

"No buts, Sophie."

"Yes, Dad."

"No, never call me that again."

"What about 'Daddy'?"

"Disgusting. I'm hanging up now. Go play with Dnate or something."

"Oh, good point. He does need to go for a walk."

"Take him for walkies, then. -No, Alfie, you're not going for walkies.- Damn it, I have to take Alfie for a walk, too. He's giving me his classic puppy dog eyes and he's guilt tripping me to no end. Shit."

"Haha, sucks for you."

"You too. You're going for walkies too."

"He has a dog walker."

"He has a what?"

"A dog walker."

"What the hell for?"

"To take him for a walk, I suppose. Jasmine thinks Dante is her baby at times, so she lavishes him with everything. Pampered Pomeranian poochie."

"So bizarre."

"Mhm. So, you talk Alfie for a walk and I'll call the dog walker to take Dante. Sorted."

"Lazy."

"Fine, alright. I'll take him for a walk. Me. Myself. I shall walk the dog."

"Good on you, Soph."

"Arsehole."

"Magpie."

"Go away."

"Going. I love you, though."

"I love you, too."

"Bye, Sophie."

"Bye, Daniel."