"Hello?" Pt. 2

October 1st 2016

"Hello?"

"Really, Sophie? That's all your answer phone message is now? OK, look, I can deal with that but come the fuck on! Why aren't you answering me?! This is so frustrating."

"Hello, Daniel."

"Sopvie?"

"Yes?"

"You're there?"

"Last time I checked, yes, I am here."

"You're there! Oh, thank God. I was about to pitch a fit because I miss talking to you."

"About to? It pretty much sounded like you were already pitching a fit. What's up, buttercup?"

"I miss you. Terribly. Like, I don't know how to describe it. It's like the best part of me is gone or someone has turned the lights out and I don't know where the light switch is or... I don't know."

"You're unbelievably mushy when you're missing me. So, how did your week of babysitting Nola go? I must say, her new vocabulary leaves much to be desired. Equally, I've been using NFI quite a bit today."

"Babysitting Nola has been interesting. I thought it would be a walk in the park but it's been the hardest thing in the world. It totally has me rethinking my stance on having children."

"No. No rethinking that."

"Well, maybe if we just had boys. That would be easier. Girls are hard work."

"Duh."

"Yeah, I knew that they'd be hard work but they are really hard work.  Nola fell out with a girl in her class over highlighters or something equally ridiculous. There was all out war. I had to go pick Nola up and all she did was cry, rant and race and shout at me that I didn't understand why she was upset. The next day, she and the other girl were best friends. Hard work, I tell you, Soph."

"Hey, you don't need to tell me that. I have two sisters, I know how weird and mean and bitchy and confusing girls can be."

"Boys must be easier. Even says that we're not but I think that's because she had to raise four boys and she doesn't have experience with nurturing girls."

"Boys are strange."

"No,we're not."

"You are, trust me. So, any progress on moving your things into my place?"

"In a way, yes, there's been some progress. I've moved a lot of things in but that vase is still there. Unfortunately."

"Hey! Be nice about the vase. Like I told you, you cannot get rid of it. It's been through a lot."

"Yes, including this mysterious The Great Divorce of 1966."

"God, The Great Divorce of 1966 is probably the worst of all the wars it's been through."

"But what exactly was it?"

"Long story so I'll give you the abridged version. Basically, my great grandfather, at age eighty something, divorced my great grandmother so he could run off and marry his twenty something mistress. Now, throughout the whole divorce, they kept coming back to who would get this vase. I'm pretty sure it's a piece of tat and worth nothing but a lot of money was spent on making sure that it was kept in the family."

"So what was the outcome?"

"You're a divorce lawyer, you tell me."

"Who brought it into the marriage? The husband or wife?"

"Husband."

"Did the vase reside inside the family home?"

"It did."

"And was it a family heirloom that was passed down through the generations within the family?"

"It was and it still is."

"I would give it to the wife."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Basically, the Husband was at risk of re-marrying his much younger mistress who may not honour the wishes that the vase be handed to the next generation. So I would rule in favour of the Wife and draw up a clause in the divorce agreement that would ensure that the heirloom is kept within the family."

"Interesting."

"Did I get it right?"

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean, no, you did not get it right."

"But I'm a divorce lawyer."

"My great grandfather died before the divorce was finalised."

"Well, you didn't tell me that."

"He died and a few days later my great grandmother died. Some say she died because she was heartbroken. Others say she died because she wanted to haunt Pierre into the afterlife. Who knows. The vase went to my grandmother in the end."

"And now you have it."

"Yep. Until I have someone to pass it onto on their eighteenth birthday, I am stuck with the bloody thing."

"Well, that's an interesting story but it does not change the fact that it is ugly."

"It doesn't but I can't get rid of it. It stays, I'm afraid."

"Are you sure I can't persuade you to accidentally break it?"

"Nope. It's bad juju to be the one that destroys the legacy of that vase."

"What on earth is bad juju?"

"Bad luck."

"I don't believe in bad luck."

"I do. Especially when Jacqueline is sprouting the whole history of the vase in great detail and in French. It's super scary."

"Can we at least put the thing in the spare room of the new house? Or at least in your study. Somewhere where I won't have to see it every day."

"We'll see."

"I can deal with that. For now. How did your mum's show thingy go? Was it tonight?"

"It was supposed to be but it's been pushed back until tomorrow night."

"Oh. Is that normal?"

"Not typically. But it has always been this super secretive presentation. You'd get a text an hour before kick off and that would be the first time you'd hear about it. It's not like anyone knows it's been pushed back. It does, however, make me wonder what's happened to make Mum push it back by a day."

"Don't ask me, I don't know anything about fashion. That's why I'm marrying you. So you can teach me about fashion."

"Ah, so that's why you're marrying me? Not because you love me but because I am a fashionista extraordinaire."

"The fact that I love you is just a bonus. It's you fashion know how I really want."

"Charming."

"Yep, bu you can just call me Prince. It seems strange that you'd call me by my last name."

"Whatever, Whitaker."

"Feisty."

"Go to Hell."

"I shall. Or as I call it, bed."

"In that case, I may go to Hell, too. I'm sleepy now. Fashion Week is exhausting."

"Off you go, Sleeping Beauty."

"Liking the sound of that. Good night, Daniel."

"Good night, Sophie. I love you, Phie."

"I love you too, Dan."