"Hello?" Pt. 2

November 2nd 2016

"How murderous are you feeling today?"

"Not very murderous."

"OK."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"You're not asking me why I'm asking you this."

"No, I'm not."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Don't you shrug your shoulders at me."

"I didn't."

"You did. It resonated in your words."

"Fine. Why did you ask me if I was feeling murderous today?"

"Because I may have done something stupid and you may want to kill me for doing it. I'd like to catch you on a not-so murderous day so that my death isn't as gruesome as it could be."

"What did you do?"

"Who said I did something?"

"You did."

"No, I said that I may have done something."

"In plain English, that means that you did something. So what did you do?"

"That depends. How murderous are you feeling right now?"

"Not as murderous as I will be feeling if you continue to dodge what you're trying- yet failing- to tell me."

"Will your guest bedroom be available on Saturday?"

"Why?"

"Because we're hosting a guest. Well, two guests, really."

"Who and who?"

"Can I tell you first why we're hosting them?"

"Fine."

"..."

"Well?"

"I've just realised that I need to tell you who our guests will be before I can tell you why they're staying with us."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Daniel."

"Ok, now you're getting angry."

"I will calm down as soon as you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Keira and Logan."

"Who is Logan?"

"Keira's boyfriend. The American teenager."

"Oh, him."

"His name is Logan."

"And why are they staying with us and not at The Delaney with everyone else?"

"Your grandmother is insisting that Keira and Logan have separate hotel rooms at The Delaney."

"And?"

"Keira isn't buying into that... uh... 'no sex before marriage bullshit.' So, they'll be staying with us, instead."

"You do understand that you're aiding and abetting them, right? And getting on Harlow's bad side while doing so."

"Huh. Didn't think about that."

"Well, you're the one explaining it all to my grandmother. But before that, I'm guessing that Keira has blackmailed you. I know my cousin and there's no way she would have called you up randomly and asked to stay with us. No... there must be something in it for us, but I haven't spoken to her in a while and I don't need anything from her, so that leaves you. You need something from her. What was the deal you struck? She stays with us, and you get what in return?"

"She's withholding the Irish pronunciation recording from me."

"You're torturing me with Keira's presence so you can get a recording of someone speaking Irish?!"

"Yeah."

"Ok, for someone intelligent, you're a fucking idiot!"

"I take offence at that."

"Daniel, you could have gotten any of my cousins to give you that recording! You could have asked my grandparents. You could have asked my aunts or my uncle or my dad... you could have asked Charlotte, Emma, Lucas... you could have asked me! You could have asked anyone except for Keira!"

"Wait, you speak Gaelic?!"

"Welcome to the show, Daniel."

"But... but... you told me to ask Keira for the recording."

"Because her accent is nicer than mine. Not because I can't speak the language."

"You could have run with that! Now we have to put up with two horny teenagers!"

"You do. You have to put up with two horny teenagers. I, meanwhile, will be staying with the rest of the family at The Delaney."

"Can't I stay at The Delaney, too?"

"No. Because someone needs to supervise the two brats."

"But-"

"Your problem, Danny Boy."

"Still... you could be more supportive."

"Fine."

"Good."

"I'll leave a box of condoms in the top drawer of the bedside table."

"How is that being supportive?"

"It probably isn't, but if you're having two teens in the house- in the same room- then there better be condoms."

"That's it. I am definitely staying at the hotel with you guys."

"Let's see if Harlow will let that happen."

"Oh, Sophie, that's a great plan!"

"How was that a plan?"

"We can get Harlow to stay at the house and supervise."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"That's not an answer."

"It is in my book."

"This isn't your book."

"Well, in someone's book, that it not an answer."

"Tough."

"Whatever. We'll discuss it when you get home."

"Ok."

"See you soon, baboon."

"Later, 'gator."