"Hello?" Pt. 2

December 19th 2016

"Daniel?"

"No, it's the Pope."

"Well, whoever this is, you need to pick up the wedding suits in an hour and then you need to go and pick up the shoes and ties."

"You're assuming that I haven't already done any of this."

"Assuming? No, I know that you haven't done any of this."

"How?"

"Because my brother is with you and he'll rat you out in a second."

"Lucas will never betray me."

"If I threaten to pour coke over his computer, he will."

"You threaten people way too much in order to get your own way."

"It's a skill."

"I bet."

"Now, after you pick up the suits, shoes and ties-"

"Which I already have done."

"You haven't. I called the tailor and he says you can't pick the suits up until after midday, which is about an hour off now. As for the shoes and tie, I get text alerts from the store, so I know you haven't picked them up. However, after you do both these things, I need you to go to Asprey's to pick something up for me."

"It's scary how you know everything."

"Indeed."

"So what do you need me to pick up from Asprey?"

"Cufflinks."

"For me?"

"For my dad."

"Oh."

"I already have all your things."

"Things?"

"Christmas and wedding day present."

"Wedding day present? Is that a thing?"

"Yes."

"Was I supposed to get you one?"

"..."

"Joke, I got yours."

"Not funny, Daniel."

"It was, from my point of view, anyhow. Did you get a name for Fletch's Plus One, yet?"

"No. That man is like a vault. Hard to break."

"Maybe it's because he doesn't have a Plus One yet."

"A man like Fletch? No, he has one. He's just being a donkey."

"Donkey?"

"A stubborn ass."

"Ah. Haha, I like that."

"Glad to hear it. Oh, by the way, can you stop by-"

"Whoa, now. What am I, your slave?"

"Yep."

"Wrong."

"Loving fiancé, will you please- pretty please- stop at Charlotte's shop and pick up the package that she has for me?"

"Seeing as you asked so nicely. Why can't you go? You're home all day."

"Hetty and I are having a girly day together."

"You and the dog?"

"Yep."

"What?"

"I'm trying to sort out what clothes I'm taking with my to Amesbury this week and it's proving very difficult. So, I enlisted Hetty's help."

"The dog?"

"How many Hetty's do you know?"

"Just the dog."

"Well, there we are then."

"..."

"..."

"Anything else you need me to do while I'm out?"

"Um... not that I can think of, no."

"You sure?"

"Ye- No! While you're at Charlotte's shop, can you pick up some sweet treats for me?"

"Anything in particular?"

"It depends on what they've got. If you tell Charlotte that they're for me, she'll box up the things I like."

"Ok."

"I think that's about it, then."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Sure, sure?"

"Double sure."

"You better not text me in an hour asking me for something else."

"I won't. Just remind Lucas that he needs to meet me at Mum and Dad's tomorrow, that's all."

"You just said that there was nothing else!"

"There isn't. Only that message to convey."

"I'm hanging up now. See you later, 'gator."

"In a while, crocodile."