"Hello?" Pt. 2

December 18th 2016

"What was the name of Fletch's Plus One again?"

"Again? I don't believe that I told you their name the first time around."

"Daniel, now is not the time to be an arsehole. What's her name?"

"I don't know."

"Daniel, don't be difficult."

"I'm not. I genuinely don't know who Fletch is bringing to the wedding. One week he gives me one name and then a few days later, he's bringing someone completely different."

"That's unhelpful."

"Indeed it is, but what can I do about it?"  

"Tell him that he has to give you a name or else."

"Or else, what?"

"Or else... I'll... um... what does Fletch really love?"

"Himself."

"Well, I can't exactly demand that he give me a name or else I kill him, can I? What else does he love?"

"His hair."

"I could put pink hair dye in his shampoo, I suppose."

"How will you get into his flat?"

"Fair point. What else does he love? There must be something I can use against him."

"Ok, so he might not love this, but in Fletch's world, it's almost close to loving anything."

"So, what is it?"

"Charlotte." 

"Charlotte?"

"Your sister."

"Basically, give me a name or I'll make sure that my sister never looks at him again?"

"Can you guarantee that?"

"Nope, although I could always find a new guy for Charlotte to obsess over. Not that Charlotte obsesses over him anyway."

"I'm sure she doesn't."

"She doesn't."

"As I said, I'm sure."

"Whatever. I'm going to give him a call and find out who he's bringing."

"Why are you so worried about who he's bringing?"

"Because I need to get her a place name setting."

"Who said it'll be a girl."

"Girl, boy, monkey... who cares?! I need a name."

"Monkey? What if he plans to bring an antelope?"

"Then he can bring one of those."

"Great. But just so you know, I think you have another reason for asking about Fletch's Plus One."

"And what would that be?"

"Nothing."

"Think whatever you like, Daniel, but I have no ulterior motive for this."

"Ok."

"I'm going now. I need to call Fletch and make some thinly veiled threats."

"Have fun with that. Samuel and I will be back from Finn's football game shortly."

"Ok. Sunday lunch is nearly ready. No dairy."

"Ewan will be pleased. Finn, Evie and Alistair, not so much."

"I happen to like Ewan, so I'd very much like him to live. See you soon, baboon."

"Later, 'gator."