"Hello?" Pt. 2

September 3rd 2016

"Hello."

"You're alive!"

"Fuck off."

"Whoa, what did I do?"

"Think."

"..."

"..."

"Still don't know what I did wrong."

"You're forcing me throw out half my clothes, Daniel!"

"I'm not forcing you."

"Yes, you are!"

"I simply made a suggestion that you may want to slimline your wardrobe. You're the one that decided to throw them out, not me."

"Whatever."

"Wait, is that why you're in a foul mood? Because you have to get rid of some of your clothes?"

"Some? Get rid of some?! Daniel, half my wardrobe has gone to Goodwill."

"And the other half you get to keep."

"Hardly. Jasmine stole a few suitcases. That bitch."

"She stole them?"

"The removal guys were here to take the suitcases of clothes to the airport and some may have fallen off the back of the truck and managed to roll their way to Jasmine's house."

"At least they went to a good home, huh?"

"Oh, please. She'll wear Givenchy with Saint Laurent."

"Are you not supposed to wear Givenchy with Saint Laurent, then?"

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't ask me that."

"Alright. Hey, did you know they did a documentary on British Vogue because they turned a hundred?"

"Yes."

"Did they film it when you were still there?"

"Yes."

"Are you in it?"

"I haven't seen the final cut, so I couldn't tell you."

"Did you know that your British editor practically 'stole' a cover from Anna Wintour?"

"Glad to see you've learnt Anna Wintour's name. And as for your accusation, I plead the fifth."

"The fifth what?"

"Amendment."

"That only works in America."

"I'm in America, Daniel."

"But this is a British Court, so you can't plead the fifth."

"This is not a British Court, Whitaker. This is a phone conversation between an idiot and his absolutely amazing fiancée."

"Ha, it's hardly that, either."

"I'll go down to Goodwill and buy back all my clothes if you're not careful."

"Have I told you recently how absolutely amazing you are?"

"That's more like it."

"So, how many suitcases of clothes, exactly, are you bringing back with you?"

"Four."

"Four? That's a good number."

"But then there's three that's full of shoes, two that contain handbags and wallets, and then another that's got all my accessories and stuff."