13th Doctor x reader

Head

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Your headache was taking a while to calm down and that pain on top of the emotional tsunami going on inside you was bringing you to breaking point. You needed to see him. You can't have just forgotten. Your hand came to rest over your eyes as you closed them, thinking about how stupid that decision to drink so much that you forgot was.

You started to shake a little and you let out a shudder breath. You were never going to be able to see him again. Never see him finally at peace. Never say goodbye or anything. Never even have the memory of him at peace for you to hold onto during your hard times. All because you drank and just forgot!

"(Y/n)" you heard the doctor call for you.

Your hand quickly clapped away from your face, your eyes snapping open and focusing on the alien. She was walking towards you and inside your head you were screaming at yourself to run away from her. She was pissed off at you and you didn't need her to give you a lecture or another shouting. But your legs were planted firmly in the ground, not going anywhere.

You held your breath as she stood in front of you. You made eye contact and luckily couldn't see much anger in them. Of course there was a hint but it was mostly...a worried look. You gave her a confused look as she placed both hands on your shoulders.

You winced at the contact, knowing that you couldn't exactly just run away anymore in this position. She looked at you properly, sighing as she opened her mouth to tell you something.

"Okay. I don't want you to be alarmed but I know a way to get your memories back. Well.,.more of a way to give you my memories but you'll be able to see your father. Through my view though okay" she said.

You instantly smiled, your mood lightening up. You nodded, then stopped, remembering how she told you not to be alarmed.

"Why would I need to be alarmed?" You asked in confusion.

"Because of this" She said.

You were even more confused but the next thing you knew was that the doctor was head butting your forehead full on, hard. You stumbled back, your hand snapping up to your head and both you and the doctor shouting in pain.

You suddenly saw a flash of memories before your eyes. There was you at the funeral, making your speech and completely breaking down with the suicide rant. You said that in front of everyone?!

You then got to see your father at peace, resting in his coffin. He looked so peaceful. That was so nice to see. You wished you were as peaceful as he was.

Then came the memory of you at the club. Seeing as all these memories were from the doctor's view point you only really saw when this random guy was full on kissing you and his hands were grabbing your ass, moving further down and underneath your dress. You could tell by the way you were slumped over you were so dreadfully drunk over your head you weren't surprised you lost your memory. Ryan quickly pushed him off you though and the doctor caught you before you went tumbling to the ground. So she really did drag you back to the TARDIS.

Then the memories all came to an end and you were still shouting in pain. You weren't sure why the hell that hurt so much, probably because he full on head butted you, but you felt like your head was exploding.

"Oh my god that hurt! I promised I would never do that again after I did it with Craig. I was his lodger." The doctor groaned, rubbing her head.

"Doctor what the hell I've already got a hang over and you head butt me?!" You shouted at her, leaning against one of the golden shards, holding your head in pain.

"You got the memories though yes?" She asked, squeezing her eyes shut as she rubbed her head.

"Yeah" you mumbled, clutching your hair.

"Are you two okay?!" You heard Yaz ask in concern.

You smiled, knowing that what they saw was probably looking so weird. It would have just looked like a full on head butt. It bloody well hurt.

"We're good" you wined a little, running your head.

You eventually let go of your head and stood up straighter, frowning at your throbbing headache. There was no way just some pills were going to get rid of this headache now.

You all stood in a silence which you yourself thought was quite comfortable, just thinking about how peaceful your father looked in his coffin. It was sickening to see him like that but he was at peace. The other two memories weren't so nice to look at though. You full on screamed about being suicidal to all your family and friends. You couldn't believe you admitted it. Sure they all knew about it but you full on screamed about it to everyone you knew. And then you got yourself into a bit of a sticky situation in the club.

"Well?" You heard the doctor say sternly, giving you a glare.

"Huh?" You looked at her in confusion.

You had no idea what she was getting at but you didn't like the angry vibes you were getting from her.

"Do you have anything to say for your actions yesterday?!" She said sternly.

"Erm...What do you want me to say?" You asked.

She raised her eyebrows in shock and anger.

"What?! I want you to say sorry!" She shouted. "You wandered off on your own and god knows what that man could have done to you! You could have got seriously hurt!"

"I can't even remember doing anything!" You shouted back.

"You still did it! And that's what counts!" She screamed.

You shook your head, staring at her. You walked around the control room, not making anymore eye contact.

"So you think this was my fault then" you asked quietly.

"Apologise" She said sternly.

You shook your head, walking away.

"Do you know what I can't do this anymore" you said, walking out of the control room and away from the others.