13th Doctor x reader

Break down

Warning: like the chapter says, there's quite a big breakdown here

"Why won't you let me touch you? Let anyone touch you?" She asked.

You didn't respond, your eyes were just squeezed shut in fear. You held your breath, already starting to panic.

"You need to take a breath. Look at me" the doctor told you.

You shook your head, keeping your eyes closed. You didn't release your breath, afraid to do anything. You couldn't do this. You couldn't make contact. Why was she forcing you?

"Look at me (y/n), please" The doctor said again in a soft tone.

Your body was tense and your grip on your towel was strong. You were afraid to do this. But you forced yourself to open your eyes anyways. You looked straight into the doctor's hazel eyes as she looked into your (e/c) ones.

"Breathe" was all the doctor said.

You slowly released a shaky breath, only to take a sharp breath in again. You tried to breathe properly but you were afraid. You didn't want to do this. You just wanted her to stop this. All this was doing was creating fear for you. A deep fear which you just wanted to run from.

"I'm just going to keep my hand here okay." The doctor said, keeping her hand outstretched towards you.

You swallowed but nodded your head slightly. The doctor sighed as she watched you. Your eyes were fixed on her hand. You were too scared to look away. You were afraid she would come too close for comfort. It was already too close for you but you had to deal with it.

"What's so different about Missy then?" She asked, breaking the silence.

"I don't know, she's just...different. She just is. Anyways, I hardly make contact with her too, why are you pushing it so much?" You asked, finally moving your eyes away from her hand.

She raised an eyebrow at you, clearly seeing right through you. You weren't going to say anything.

"Come on (y/n). You've only known her for a few days and you're already getting close to her. You think I don't notice you cuddling up to her all the time?" She chuckled.

Your blushed at that. You didn't realise how often you'd been hugging Missy. Then again, thinking back now you had been doing that more often. She was so warm. So comforting.

"She's...different..." you tried not to stutter so much.

"Yeah, you mentioned. Ignoring Missy for a moment.." the doctor smiled.

You silently breathed a sigh of relief. At least now you didn't have to keep on denying anything. There was no way you were going to admit you liked Missy. And you'd rather not talk about her because you could never stop blushing.

"Who gave you the scars?" She asked.

You frowned, looking away. Okay, now you'd rather talk about Missy. Anything but your scars. It was a sensitive subject. And something about Jason might slip.

"Well I know someone's been giving you some scars. I just don't know who." The doctor said.

"No one's been giving me anything." You told her defensively.

"Well, if someone is doing this to you, are they the reason you don't let anyone touch you?" She asked "because I can't see any other reason to be so afraid all the time"

"Just stop" you whispered "...please.."

"Talk to me. Who's done this to you. Why are you so afraid?" She said.