13th Doctor x reader

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"So..I'm sorry I missed the burial. I hope your finally at peace. And erm...if you do by some miracle get up there to heaven. C..could you give mum and Alice a kiss goodnight from me..and erm...just tell them how much I love them..." your voice cracked as you stood in front of your fathers gravestone, visiting it for the first time "goodnight dad"

You took a deep breath, trying to control your emotions. You coughed out the lump in your throat, standing straighter and walking away from his grave. You were heading back under the bridge for the night, the sky getting darker by the minute. Yes, you were still living on the streets.

It had been just over a week and you still hadn't gone back. You knew that Jason had most definitely gone back to his own house now but you were too scared to risk it. You couldn't bring yourself to go back to your own home because you were afraid he would still be there. You knew it was just paranoia but it was still a risk. If you went back and he was still there there would be no way he'd let you off as easy as he did before. He would beat the absolute crap out of you from running away again. He doesn't like it when you leave the house without his permission. He likes to know where you are at all times and this would piss him off immensely. And you did not want to get in his way when he was mad at you.

You sighed, walking back to the bridge. You had your hood up and made sure that no one could see you. You tried not to draw attention to yourself. You just wanted to be left alone, you couldn't trust anyone. Not after that incident with Jason again. You hadn't let anyone touch you since, not that many people did want to. You were just a nobody people walk past on the street.

You were quite street wise. You'd been in situations like this a few times, even when you were young with your dad. So you knew your way round and the tricks like how to stay clean, usually using public toilets. However you hadn't exactly eaten in two whole days and your stomach was physically hurting. Food was expensive around here. And people didn't gave you nearly enough change for a meal, if they even did stop to give you any money that was. You weren't going anywhere near your work place either for fear of your boyfriend finding you there. You were even too scared to go to your dads grave before today.

You sighed, quickly making your way under the bridge and sitting down against the wall. You knew it was dark and you should get some sleep. But it was difficult with a painfully empty stomach. Your hand had healed quite well. It may have been a little achy sometimes but it was a lot better than before. Your bruises had gone down but were still pretty visible. Luckily it didn't hurt when you breathed or moved anymore, just when you touched them.

You tried to close your eyes and get yourself into a peaceful sleep, if that was even possible. Nightmares were really difficult not to have when you'd just been through a hard time. You tried to get comfortable as much as you could on the hard pavement but your mind just didn't seem to doze off. You had nothing to do or listen to, your body refusing to fall asleep. You'd even left your phone on the TARDIS so there was no contacting anyone or even listening to some long needed music.

You sighed, trying to force yourself to sleep. You sighed heavily, not being able to drop off. You sat up, bringing your hood down, letting your hair flow down over your shoulders. You rested your head on the wall behind you, bringing your knees up to your chest.

You looked up into the beautiful starry night sky. You smiled, wondering if you could see any of the ones you'd been to. You used to travel on all of them. But she left again. Like always. Without warning this time though. And she hadn't come back yet. Maybe she really did just think you were a burden and she really did just want you to stop travelling. Why would anyone want someone like you though?

You tried to shake those thoughts from your head and instead tried to just admire the beauty of the night sky. They all shimmered up there, looking so beautiful. Space was so amazing, so incredible. So free.

You smiled, counting how many stars you could see. And that was when your eyes started to droop, the last image you seeing the different constellations, wishing to see a blue box floating up there somewhere.

-

"(Y/n)?" You were being gently shaken awake by the shoulder.

Your eyes snapped open and you instantly scurried away from the hand on your shoulder before you even saw who it was. You crawled a few meters away from them, your heart rocketing already from the contact. You didn't want to be hurt, not again. It was too painful. Your body was still healing from the last time you couldn't have someone near you. You just couldn't.

"Calm down (y/n) it's just us" you heard.

You could recognise that voice. You opened your eyes properly, seeing the doctor, Yaz, Graham and Ryan all standing in front of you. Your mouth hung slightly open, not knowing how to react from seeing them again. You hadn't seen them in almost two weeks. She took her bloody time. She shouldn't have left. Not when you needed her most. It wasn't fair!

"Doctor?" Your voice croaked a little, still raspy from waking up.

"What are you doing sleeping outside?" She asked in concern.

"Erm..." you tried to think up something that would be convincing "there were too many knives at home...I couldn't be around them all..." you whispered slightly, looking away.

The doctor sighed and started to move closer to you, reaching out her hands a little, about to comfort you by holding your hand or rubbing some small circles on your back. You instantly backed away, shaking a little, the fear and trauma all too real.

"Stop! D..don't come near me!" You shouted urgently, moving further away.

"(Y/n) it's okay" she tried to calm you.

"NO STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" You screamed in a desperate attempt to get away.

The doctor instantly put up her hands, stopping dead in her tracks. She was taken aback and confused about your outburst.

"please don't touch me" you whispered weakly, your heart pounding and your body curled up into a ball.

The doctor was extremely concerned about you now. She didn't know what brought on this no contact attitude again. She thought she'd helped you with that.

"Okay okay. I won't." She said, looking at you in worry. "Let's go to the TARDIS then yeah?" She suggested.

You lifted your head up, nodding timidly. You wanted nothing more than to be back at the TARDIS.