13th Doctor x reader

Seperated

You got decided to sit down and brush your hair a little and do it up a tad, using a few bobby pins to keep some hair back out of your eyes. You looked at yourself in the mirror and you didn't know what it was but it pushed you over the edge.

You placed both your hands in a prayer position over your mouth, closing your eyes shut as you took shaky breaths. You missed him so much. You missed everyone so much. Your dad, your mum, your sister, your grandma. Everyone was gone. And your whole life was just so messed up right now it was ridiculous. You couldn't just keep going every day like this. It was so hard. Because things never got better, ever. The universe was only making your life worse for you every time.

You heard a knock at the door and opened your eyes, turning around and seeing the door being opened. The doctor stood looking a little worried by the door. You didn't really say anything to her, your head just falling again.

"Can I come in?" She asked.

"It's your TARDIS" you mumbled, shrugging your shoulders.

She sighed, walking over to you. But as soon as she came too close for comfort you backed away from her, getting up from your chair to the other side of it, keeping it between you both. You kept your hands firmly on the chair, making sure you kept the chair in between you and her. You couldn't even be near anyone else now. And that was all because of one stupid and quite frankly relatively small beating.

"Are you okay?" She asked, the concern evident not only in her voice but her face also.

"Yeah." You quickly said.

She kept giving you a worried look, trying to get you to tell the truth. You sighed, looking down, as always breaking under the time lords eyes.

"No" you mumbled "I just...miss everyone" you said, looking anywhere but in the blondes direction.

"That's perfectly normal. The fact that you're feeling like this only means your a person, with emotions like any other species. Loosing someone close to you hurts, but it gets better" The doctor told you.

"It's not getting better though is it. I've always got this...falling..sinking and drowning feeling inside me. It's not going anywhere." You said shakily, swallowing hard.

"You know what helps?" She said.

You looked up, shrugging your shoulders. She rolled her eyes and smiled brightly, holding out her hand for you to take. You took a few nervous steps back, retracting your hands from the chair and away from her. She sighed, pulling her hand back.

"Come on, I'll show you" she smiled.

"Sure, I'll go wherever you want" you mumbled, crossing your arms still keeping far away.

Her eyes snapped towards your eyes which you were refusing to let her make eye contact with. What would have helped would have been for her not to have took you home. Or at least come back for you when you were screaming out in sheer agony for her.

You heard the doctor sigh, walking around the chair. Your eyes snapped back to her and you instantly scurried away, hitting the wall. Your chest tightened with panic and your breaths almost came to a complete halt.

"O..okay..can you stop coming near me...that's enough now" you quickly stuttered, trying to hide your shaking. "I'll go wherever just stop"

"Okay..Okay then." The doctor quickly said, seeing your panic, stopped walking, allowing you to breathe without so much panic through you.

"Lead the way then" you said, still slightly gasping.

The doctor kept watching you, debating whether or not to bring up the question of your utter fear for others touching you. Even though before she'd been helping you though it, she still never knew why you felt like this. And now you were even worse than before.

She eventually turned around, gesturing you to follow her. Once you'd regained your composure you did so, keeping a few steps away. You were in your own world a little, just thinking in your head, enjoying the quiet. You had no idea where the doctor was planning on taking you but quite frankly right now you just wanted to enjoy being back on the TARDIS and safely away from home. You were just so glad you were back, with everyone here. There was so much that you were thinking but you knew that having everyone around was what you needed. What you wanted.

You were staring at the ground you were walking on while thinking in your head. You were fully aware the doctor wanted to have so many conversations but you just had no idea what to say. It wasn't easy. The whole of planet earth wasn't easy for you.

You sighed, lifting your head, only for you to stop dead in your tracks. The doctor was no longer ahead of you. She was no where to be seen.

"Doctor?" You called, stepping forward a little, almost preparing yourself for a The doctor to come out from one of the rooms and scare you.

But she was no where. Great, even when you intended on sticking close you got yourself separated. You walked a little, glad that these were familiar corridors and you weren't lost. You kept walking, keeping a look out for the doctor. You had a slight suspicion that the TARDIS was behind this though. She was probably giving you some space from the doctor. But you didn't mind being around her. She was good company and would often talk about loads of different adventures she's been on. They were fun to listen to, and took your mind off loads of things. Thinking about it now you found yourself wanting to find the doctor more and more.

You sighed, walking into one of your favourite rooms. The music room of course. At least if you did have some time on your own, you could express your feelings by playing on your own.

You walked over, picking up a guitar . You sat down, lazily strumming the strings. You couldn't help the feeling of sinking inside you when thinking about earth. Everything was so wrong on that planet.

"There's something in the way you roll your eyes
Takes me back to a better time
When I saw everything is good
But now you're the only thing that's good
Tryna stand up on my own two feet
This conversation ain't comin' easily
And darling, I know it's getting late
So what do you say we leave this place?
Walk me home in the dead of night
I can't be alone with all that's on my mind, mhm
So say you'll stay with me tonight
'Cause there is so much wrong going on outside"

You sighed, putting the guitar down. You honestly just wanted to throw that guitar or just break it. You just needed something to help with all this. And being on your own definitely didn't help.

"I've never heard of that song before" you heard someone say.

You sighed, smiling slightly at how quickly the doctor seemed to find you every time. You looked up at her, shrugging your shoulders.

"You should listen to some more pink. She's amazing" you said.

You couldn't help but notice the concern in her eyes. You knew it was already there because of all your problems anyway, but the choice of song just made her realise how much you need someone right now. She opened her mouth to ask you but you cut her off before she could say anything.

"Anyways. Where you taking me?" You asked.

She smiled instantly at your question.

"You know what I do when I'm down to make it better?" She asked.

You shook your head, already smiling and your ears perking to hear what she had in mind. Her smile grew even more.

"Space"