13th Doctor x reader

Sit

You both stayed in each others embrace for really long, not really doing much other than enjoy this moment. You'd long forgotten about your intention of jumping. You weren't sure if Missy has forgotten yet but the fact that she wasn't drinking anymore was a good sign.

You on the other hand, had stopped thinking about that because of her. All you could think about is how much you wanted to be like this all the time. How perfect she was. And just how close you were to kissing her. You didn't quite have the courage to go there just yet though. The cheek was nice though. But her lips were so close. So close to a kiss.

You smiled your arms around each others waist. She always distracted you. She was always a better distraction than a knife or a drink. You really wanted her. But you had no idea if she felt the same way.

You didn't want to risk telling her about your feelings. She could might completely disagree and then she might not even want to see you again. And then you wouldn't be able to get close to her like you are now. You wouldn't be able to touch anyone else. You wouldn't be able to have contact with anyone at all if she decided she didn't want to see you again. And you'd do anything not to be alone like that again.

You sighed, hugging Missy closer. She smiled, the pair of you watching out at the beautiful planet before you.

"I don't think I want to jump anymore" Missy whispered.

You smiled, holding her close. You could never do something like that when she was with you. She always made it better. You hoped you were doing something the same for her as well. She eases your pain so much you just hoped you did something the same too.

"Me neither" you smiled. "Thanks for being here" you said.

She smiled, looking down at you for a moment before lifting her head again.

"You're welcome. And...thank you for..you know, the same. Just being there for me. It really means a lot to have someone like you with me" She said.

You smiled, "you're welcome."

You sat in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes, just sitting with each other. You didn't even know how long you'd been sitting there. But you didn't mind, you could spend all day in her arms and you wouldn't mind.

"I can hear someone coming" Missy said, breaking the silence.

You looked up at her, frowning your brows.

"I can't hear anything" you said.

She smiled widely, looking down at you.

"Time lady sense. Hearing is one of the best ones we have" she grinned.

You laughed at that, nodding your head in agreement. The amount of times the doctor had overhears something you thought you said quietly told you that!

"It's probably the doctor coming. She'll be mad that I wandered off...again....while she was giving a lecture on not walking off..."you said.

Missy chuckled at that and you rested your head back on her shoulder, waiting for the doctor to come up and probably have a go at you. You kept your arms draped around Missy's waist and stayed in her arms to find some sort of comfort or distraction as to think about when the doctor was coming. And when you started to hear some footsteps behind you you squeezed Missy a little, keeping your eyes front and not turning to look at the doctor. Neither you nor Missy made any interaction with her when she came up to you both. Not even when she sat next to you so you were between the two aliens. You made sure that the doctor wasn't close enough to make any contact with you as the three of you just sat in silence.

"This is quite a big drop on the edge here" the doctor spoke up.

"I'm amazed that that's what you think of first thing. Nothing about the spectacular view?" You said, keeping your eyes ahead.

The doctor remained silent for a few moments before swallowing hard.

"Yeah...it's a beautiful view too....I just don't want you doing anything stupid up here." She said.

"Yeah well you're very lucky we decided not to in the end" Missy replied bitterly.

The doctor winced at that, giving you both a glance before turning to look out again. She sighed heavily, shaking her head.

"Well I'm glad you both changed you're mind" she said.

"No thanks to you!" You snapped, clenching your jaw.

The doctor swallowed again, feeling the guilt in the pit of her stomach. She took a deep breath before looking at you both with a sincere look. You and Missy however still refused to look her way.

"I'm sorry. I know I snapped and got angry at you both. And..the things I said to you were unforgivable I'm sorry. I just..I just want you safe. Both of you. All of you. It scares me when I don't know where you are. Anything could happen. I can't lose you guys too. And you wandered off again...the pair of you just now. And it was to...jump...." she said sadly.

"That's your fault" you said quietly.

"I know and it hurts me that it is. I'm sorry okay. Please, I can't...I can't lose someone else I've been through that too many times. I've tried to push it so far deep inside me so that the pain will go away but every time you wander off on your own that fear arises again and I act out because I'm afraid of feeling that pain of losing someone else again. I'm so sorry." The doctor told you.

You sighed, knowing the pain she was talking about. The pain of losing someone close to you. The doctor had experienced that pain more than anyone else.

"It seems like all we've been doing lately is argue" you said.

The doctor chuckled, nodding her head "I know what you mean"

"There's really no need to worry doctor I know how to look after myself. Please don't worry about me. And...I think you should apologise to Missy more than to me" you told her.

"Missy...wh..what I said about you, I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that I have no right. I've seen already how much you've changed and...it was you that stabbed your past self because you refused to listen to him. You were doing what was right. The pair of you were so different you literally stabbed each other in the back! That in itself shows how much you've changed. And I'm sorry for what I said" the doctor apologised.

"It's okay. I know you were just upset. Just...please doctor tell me one thing, do you forgive me for what I've done in the past?" She asked.

The doctor smiled and looked at her oldest friend.

"Of course I do Missy." She replied. "I've always forgiven you."

"Thank you. So much" Missy whispered.

You smiled, sighing in relief that you'd made up. It was all okay now. It was better than okay. You all smiled as you watched the scenery in front of you, with the doctor giving you and Missy the occasional glance and smirk at your embrace, making a mental note to herself to make a plan to get you both together.