Deku's Adoptive Sister (My Hero Academia Fan-Fic)

Chapter 55

An hour later - Ray's POV

I walk off the train, Eve sleeping on my shoulder.

I hear to the Kurashiki Graveyard, and I go to Mom's grave.

I sit down, unable to stand much longer.

"Hey Mom." I say as I look at her headstone. "I defeated Randy, my boyfriend is mad at me though." I say to her as Eve rubs her face against mine and I pet her head. "I don't know what I did wrong, but I did something wrong apparently." I give a small pity laugh. "Randy scared the shit out of me. The night he was arrested, the night you died, he had threatened to kill everyone I ever cared about, and it'd be my fault. He escaped and had come for me first." I say and I go on to explain what happened as I feel tears leak from my eyes. "God I was so scared of losing that fight." I say as I try to wipe a tear from my cheek. "I didn't want my friends, and family to die. I knew that if I lost, I'd have lost everything. I couldn't go through that again. I know Randy wouldn't kill me, he would have made me watch as he killed everyone I care about, die by his hands. I couldn't do that again. I couldn't live knowing they died and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I'd probably kill myself." I say as I wipe my cheek again and I sniff. "God, I feel stupid. Peter keeps trying to get me to seek some help for all the trauma I locked away. But instead I'm talking to a grave, with no one around." I say as I wipe my eyes again. "But I can't talk to anyone else about it, everytime I try to talk about how I feel, it feels as if I'm forcing my problems onto them, and I can't do that. I don't know, this seems easier, and a lot more peaceful than screaming my feelings out at Katsuki as he does the same back." I say and I sigh. "God, I probably do need a lot of help though. I just can't go and find it, I don't like the fact of telling my problems to someone as they record it, it feels like black mail to me." I say as get my legs in a indian style position.

I hum a lullaby I remember Mom used to sing to me when I was scared of falling asleep before Randy got home.

I can't stop the tears and my voice sounds broken, but Eve purrs as she licks my tears on her side of my face.

"I remember, how you would calm me down from being scared, whether it was a thunderstorm, or after Randy had just beaten us. You'd sing to me, in the softest tone, you'd just hold me as you cleaned my wounds. You would smile, as if everything was ok, even though you were scared too. I beat myself up about how I was never strong enough to protect you, I always thought that if I had been stronger, or more fearless, you wouldn't have gotten hurt. I remember the verbal fights between you and Randy when I was in my room, hiding under my blanket. They sounded so terrible, I got scared, that maybe I would go through those same types if arguements in the future if I ever was aloud to date. I'm still scared to be honest. I know Katsuki is just worried about me, but I'm pretty fucked up in the head, the trust issues are real. I've known him for so long, he's become my best friend. He knows so much about me, I know a lot about him too. At this point, I couldn't imagine a life without him by my side." I say as I wipe another few tears away, a smile on my face. "I just get, so worried about him, I can't just, not be worried, and he worries me to an unholy amount. But I love the blasty bomb boy. Not like I could leave him anyways, he's about 90 percent of my impulse control, Aizawa being the last 10 percent. I'd probably end up dying my hair a dark emerald green with out Katsuki, and then proceeding to jump off the empire state building in new york." I say and I add a small laugh at the end, thinking about how Katsuki would react. "I actually want to do that though, like dye my hair a dark emerald green. It sounds fun." I say and Eve licks my cheek. "Oh well. But I try to keep everyone I care about as safe as possible. I feel as if I always get into trouble doing that though. I'm not really sure people care about the efforts I make to keep them safe." I say  as I fidget with my hands as I stare at the ground. "Everyone tells me I did amazing, that they're proud of what feat I've done, I think the only people who actually thank me for doing what I do, would be the police officers who question me afterwards, and Inko, the lady who took me in after a year of jumping around the foster care system." I say and sigh. "I feel so useless at the moment, being unable to even walk probably, talking to air in a grave yard, with a kitten on my shoulder as I cry." I say and Eve just purrs.