Super Nova.

Chapter 4

~ Jenna's POV ~

In the back seat of Sam's car Emily wanted to know every word Eminem and I had said to each other. I gave Sam my address and he nodded and off we went. I told her about his skydiving comment and we both laughed out. When I asked her what she and Denaun was talking about out on the balcony she just held her hand up and said that we weren't finished with my interrogation just yet. I sighted and said that we didn't had so much time to talk before my brother had called. She asked me if he had touched me. I blushed, perhaps for the millionth time today and told her that he just had his hand on my thigh. The hugs at the end she had witnessed herself and now she wanted to know exactly what he had whispered in my ear.

"That he'll call me tomorrow, but I don't think it will happen. It's ok though, I don't expect it."

But I will be a bit sad if he doesn't.

"Hey, he really seemed to like you so why wouldn't he?" Emily asked me softly as she leaned in and stroked my chin. She had a sad look on her face but tried to hide it behind a smile.

"I mean, why would he? He's a mega superstar and what am I? A damn librarian from a whole different world" I sighed.

"Not quite different" she said to cheer me up. "He had a rough childhood too. Just because he got out of it a bit earlier than you, doesn't mean that he can't relate to where you are coming from, you know. Your life has just begun. Why not start out with a famous Rap God?" she said and we laughed again. Sam looked at us in the rear mirror and smiled.

The following days I was in a daze of everything that had happen. At first I went through all of it in my mind over and over again with a feeling of joy and excitement. After two days I looked at the situation with a bit of incredulous eyes. When he still hadn't called me at day three after our encounter I saw it all as a bitter sweet memory that I'll always should keep close to my heart.

But what were you thinking, you fucking slut? Which man in his right mind would date a hoe like yo? You are just as your mother, a worthless piece of shit. And a famous person? How could he ever go out with you, men everywhere would recognize that you are a whore.

Even from the other side of the grave my father's words still haunt me at night. He may be dead and buried, but to me he still was a tormentor. Sometimes I could hear his voice in my head during the days too, but it was always worse at night.

I still have nightmares and I talked to my sister-in-law about it a lot. She says that it's going to take time. 29 years of abuse won't just go away by itself. I need to work on my confidence, my trust issues and my lack of self esteem.

Yeah, that's going to be easy when I just crowd myself with work, taking on any extra shift I can and fill my free time with books to read.

Damn, I would have needed a love affair with that Rap God. But then again, what do I know about love? I had never experienced it. The only love I had was the worm feelings for my brother, his wife and for Emily.

I was invited to dinner at their new house that evening, the third day of waiting for the phone to call. I decided to put on a new dress that I had bought right after my father's death but still haven't used. It was my 'I'm on my own now'dress.

My sister-in-law, Chrissy just stared at me when she opened the door.

"Oh my sweet Lord in heaven, who are you and where's my Jenna at? What have you done with her, is she locked in your basement?" She yelled.

Yeah, with Dr.Dre ... No Jenna, don't even go there. You are not allowed to think of Eminem tonight!

"Hey Emily and Ron" she continued screaming into the house as my cheeks went tomato at me. "Come here and look at Jenna!"