Super Nova.

Chapter 48

~ Jenna's POV ~

Marshall woke me up as we were about to go into their hotel. I still couldn't believe that he and Hailie actually was here. In Sweden. To see me. He asked me if I could walk and I asked, why wouldn't I be able to walk?

"'Cus you're so thin Jenna, baby" he said and I was ashamed of my own appearance.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and bowed my head.

I was so embarrassed and I thought that I never could show myself to him again, he'll always see this skinny skank.

Yeah by right, you look like shit you idiot. How the hell are you going to keep him now? He'll be disgusted by you so be sure to shut the lights off before you get naked, you whore.

"Don't be sorry, my love. You're still beautiful" he said and I was so confused now.

We went into the elevator and went up to their floor. Hailie said her good nights and left us outside our door. As Marshall opened it he excused himself that it wasn't a suite.

"We had to make last minute reservations, you know" he smiled sheepishly at me.

"Do you really think that I care?" I asked him as we went into the room and he took me in his arms again.

"I know you don't" he said and kissed me.

"I need a shower" I said and tried to excuse myself but he wouldn't hear it.

"Let me" he said but I couldn't go in there with him. "I've seen you before, Jenna, don't be ashamed".

But I just couldn't. I've seen myself in the mirror as Chrissy showed me how far I've let this go. I couldn't let him see that. I am ... disgusting.

My tears started to fall as I tried to get out of his arms. He wasn't going to let me go and I just gave up and cried against his chest.

"Baby, please let me in. I can't bare it when you shut me out. Not now. Not ever" he said and I nodded as he lifted me up and carried me to the bathroom.

He started to undress me and I felt a horror in build my chest but he kissed my lips softly and I started to breathe again, not knowing that I've been holding my breath.

He took my shoes off then my socks. When he held on to the hem of my shirt I just lifted my arms and let him see me as I looked now, all skin and bones.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and he lifted me up from the stool he placed me on earlier and held me tight.

"Don't ever say sorry for how you feel, Jenna. I'm fucking sorry for not picking up how you felt" he softly said in my ear and I could hear the anger towards himself in his voice.

"But I'm a mess. I had no idea how to live without you once you came into my life" I mumbled and he sighed.

"I was a mess too, but I have a bigger safety net than you. I had my girls and Denaun, Paul, Sam and the other guys at the studio. I'm so fucking sad that you had to go through this shit alone". He didn't let me go but I started to shiver and he asked if I was cold.

"Yes, please just let me shower and we can talk some more after" I was almost out of energy and he saw it.

He removed my jeans and underwear and started the shower. He placed the stool in the shower and sat me down on it under the warm sprinkling water as he dropped his own clothes and stepped in behind me.

He washed my hair and massaged my skinny shoulders a bit before he hunched down and washed my feets, legs and up to my torso.

I noticed that he wasn't aroused, as he always been when we showered together before.