Super Nova.

Chapter 24

~ Jenna's POV ~

When Marshall told me that I had an orgasm I couldn't think straight, I just knew that I had to get away from him. How could anything that felt so good be so wrong? All I could hear as I stood by the window in this beautiful kitchen in this wonderful house, was my father's voice.

Ha ha ha, now your showing your true self bitch! Letting him touch you like the whore you are. You know what's coming, huh? He's going to fuck you 'till you bleed and it's gonna hurt as fuck 'cus you are a fuckin' midget! I told you that I could prepare you for this but no, you shut me out, blocked your door at night. Suit yourself now ha ha ha!

His laughter was still echoing in my head as I ran up the stairs and in to the guestroom. My tears couldn't stop falling as I thought of Marshall, he must think I'm crazy acting like a maniac about these things. These sex things. God I can't even think of how bad he wants to get rid of me now, knowing that I'm such a whore, getting an orgasm just by his touch.

But I couldn't help it, he made me feel so good. Maybe he was testing me, seeing if I was in on it, as whores are so he can decide whether to keep me just to fulfill his needs or to ditch me because nobody wants a slut in their home.

He's gonna fuck you then ditch you, you idiot slut. Don't you get it? You're never going to be his girlfriend, or meet his family or marry you. You're just a fuck for him. One of many if he's the man I think he is.

I hold my hands over my ears as I tried to shut his voice out and I ran into the bathroom putting the shower on. If there was anything I've learned from my mother it was that in the shower or the rain no one can see you cry. I sat down on the gray warm tiles and cried my eyes out. I wasn't afraid that Marshall would hear me because he wouldn't care anyway. I wasn't what he wanted, what he needed. He needed a girl who wasn't broken, who wasn't a whore and who wasn't an idiot when it comes to ... life.

After a while my tears dried out and they were replaced with an aching feeling in my stomach, the kind you get when anxiety eats you up from inside. I decided to get up from the floor and on with what I had to do to get out of this house while I had the courage to leave and not to stay as a sex doll he can get rid of when he's done. Maybe I still can leave with some dignity. Who was I trying to kid? I don't have dignity, sluts don't. I just wanted to leave without seeing the disgust in Marshall's eyes so I still can remember him as the man I saw before this happened.

I just couldn't get up off the floor. I had during the cry session slide down so I now laid curled up as a ball on the bathroom floor, hugging my knees and my tears started to roll again. I was such a pathetic bitch, couldn't do anything right. I couldn't stay after this but I couldn't go either, Marshall was everything to me. Without him I could just as well end it all. When he came in to my life he came with the light I needed to see that there was a world behind my self-built walls. Without him I was ... nothing.

My head kept spinning as I tried to come up with a plan how to stay with Marshall as long as possible. If I let him do as he pleased with me, if I cooked and cleaned for him. If I wasn't to any bother for him, if he could hardly notice me he might let me stay. I promised myself not to nag on him for anything, letting him see other women when he wanted and not cause any problems for him maybe he let me be around him. I needed him so bad that I even was going to let him beat me when I deserved it, even though I, on my father's grave swore to myself that no man ever was going to do that to me again.

I could feel a fog taking over my mind and I let it swipe me away to sleep.

~ Marshall's POV ~