Super Nova.

Chapter 69

~ Marshall's POV ~

I was dead. Dead to the point of there was nothing more for me to live for. When Paul showed up at the house the morning after with Denaun I still sat on the floor in the foyer with her ring in my clenched fist crying my eyes out. The tried to get me off the floor by talking to me but I couldn't hear them. All I heard in my head was the echo of Jenna's raspy voice telling me she didn't need me anymore over and over again.

When they tried to grab me to lift me off the floor I screamed at them as the only way I knew then and there for them to leave me alone. I wanted the last touch of another human on my body to be from Jenna's small soft hands. No one else was allowed to touch me.

I had a total mental breakdown and they even discussed to call the psych ward to come and get me to lock me up but that was out of the question, there would be a blast on the news and my kids would suffer from it.

The thought of my girls was the thing that got me up off the floor and I crumbled up on the couch instead. I slowly opened my hand to look at the ring and I could hear Paul take a deep breath of sorrow as he saw it.

"Oh my God, Em. I'm so sorry for you both" he said with a tormented voice. "Is there anything I can do?"

I just shook my head. Paul could do many things but he wasn't a wizard and all I needed right now was a fucking miracle.

"Why tho?" Denaun whispered. "She seemed so happy in Australia. A bit pale, but hey, all you white guys are" he tried but no one thought he was funny right now.

"I don't know, man" I said with a hoarse voice I didn't recognized as my own. "She's been down and after going to the women's clinic she left" I couldn't think straight but Paul did.

"Clinic? Is she ill? She might be sick?" he paced the floor talking to himself.

Sick? She can't be sick. Fairy's don't catch illnesses. My mind blew up and I started to cry again. I didn't give a fuck if I wasn't alone anymore, I just couldn't stop it. Sick? What if she left me because she couldn't stand to tell me that she was? Could it be something lethal?

Even if I couldn't be with her I wanted her to live on with her life. I could rest in the thought that she was safe and maybe happy, now she left me but to die? My mind couldn't even think the thought through before it shut down.

The next thing I remember is Hailie's face hoovering over mine calling for my attention.

"Dad? Dad, can you hear me?" she said and there was tears in her eyes and worry in her voice.

"Baby, what are you doing here? I whispered.

"What happened, dad? Why did she go?" I could see Alaina drag her away from my face and quietly hush in her ear as she hugged her and stroke her hair.

"Hush little sister, he doesn't need that now" she said and I closed my eyes in vain trying to shut out the feeling of bringing pain into my girl's life.

"I don't know. I don't know" I said repeatedly over and over and I could hear Alaina started to sob.

Paul told the girls to sit down and he started to interrogate Hay about the last time she saw Jenna. I wanted to scream to him to leave her alone but my mouth didn't work and all that came out of me was a sigh.

"I drove her and then I picked her up after her appointment. Why didn't I go in with her as she wanted? I could see she wanted me there. Oh why? Why didn't I go in with her?" Hailie was all in panic now and as I was in no state to comfort her Alaina dried her eyes and stepped in as a parent as she had done so many times in the past when I was on tour and Kim was on ...

My mind got cloudy and I drifted off for a while. When I came to again Hailie was calmer and Paul was nowhere to be seen. I sat up and my head was spinning so hard that I need to grab the armrest to not fall over. Hay and Alaina rushed over and sat down on each side of me hugging me tight.

"Oh dad we are so sorry" Alaina whispered and Hay stroked my cheek.

It reminded me of Christmas morning when she had told me to shave and Jenna had said that I should keep the beard because she liked it. My tears started to fall again and I wept silently in the comfort of my daughters.

"Where's Paul and Denaun?" I asked after a while as I looked around.

"Denaun is getting food and Paul is on the phone trying to get a hold of someone who can get a court order to open Jenna's file at the clinic" Hay said and I frowned at her. "Paul have been trying everything to get the doctor to tell him what's wrong with Jenna, but the law says that they can't discuss things with others if the patient hasn't given them okay to do so" she sighed and I nodded.

If anyone could solve this, it was Paul. It might take some time but he'll get the file one way or the other. I rubbed my eyes and suddenly felt how hungry I was. I trusted that this situation could be solved, at least that I could get a hint of what the trouble was reading her file, that I let other emotions come back to my body like hunger, thirst and how fucking bad I smelled.

"What day is it today? I mean how long has she been ... gone?" I asked and swallowed the lump of anxiety that filled my throat.

"She left almost three days ago, dad" Hailie whispered as Denaun came in the door with pizza boxes in his hands.

"I need a shower" I said and as I rose from the couch my head got dizzy and my eye sight got dimmed causing me to drop down again and close my eyes.

"Eat first" Hay and Alaina said at the same time making me smile sadly at them.

"You two knows best, huh?" I said as they filled my hands with pepperoni pizza and something cold to drink.

                                     ***

"Ready to talk?" Paul sat down opposite me in the kitchen after I had eaten and taken the most necessary shower in a long time.

Just to see her shampoo and other things in the bathroom made me almost throw up the damn pizza but I kept my calm and overcome the feeling of nausea, leaving me with just the pain of her words of not needing me anymore. Had I treated her that bad? I know I was an asshole sometimes, but not to her ... or was I? Had I pushed her too far sexually? I mean, she was still ... so innocent. Fuck! I don't know. I don't know anything now.

The others gave us some space and Paul looked me straight in the eyes and waited for me to start talking but I had nothing to say.

"Why?" he said and I shook my head feeling the tears build up in my eyes again.

"I don't know. I really don't" I whispered and took a deep breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "She's been a bit down and tired the last couple of days, not eating very good ..." my voice faded and I dried a tear the had escaped. "I thought she had the after-tour blues or some flu coming down or something".

"Okay. Hay said that she'd been paler than usual and after the appointment she had acted as nothing was wrong, but it obviously was" Paul pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "So what we know is this" he started to count on his fingers "she acted weird, she seemed sick ... and then she left" and that was it.

We knew nothing, nothing about what was wrong, nothing about why she left, nothing. I rubbed my face with my hands and looked over at him.

"She said she didn't need me anymore" I whispered at him and he sighed and gazed at me.

"She didn't mean it" he said softly but I shook my head at him.

"She was so cold. I've never heard her talk like that before" I was still in some shock about the fact that she could be that hard.

"Marshall listen she must have been in some kind of ... I don't know, psychosis?" he tried to smooth over her behavior but I didn't buy it.

"No, no she was very clear" I said quietly closing my eyes.

I heard her last words echoing in my head again.

"But I don't need you".