To Keep Going On

7. Perspective

FLASHBACK

He let out yet another sigh. He was tired, extremely exhausted and his body and heart hurt like hell. His backside felt like he was sitting on hellfire, his whole body was full of bite marks and bold hickeys. That bastard Forth hadn't hold back the night before, literally eating him up, he even left marks on his butt. Now he knew what got him the reputation, fucker was really a beast in bed!

Didn't help that he was so worn out, he passed out right beside Forth. Then waking up, he had to pretend to be okay and hurry back for his morning classes, forgetting the pain and confusion. At least it helped to take his mind off from what happened with Kit who was still giving him a cold shoulder.

Still, he was hurt by what Kit said to him. Their friendship had always been special. Like three bodies and one soul. Nothing, nothing one said or did ever made the other feel bothered or mad. Not that they weren't mad at each other, they were always at each other's throats but what happened last night...

It felt like an eye opener, putting himself in perspective, where he stood in life and how delusional he was and how much of a bother he must be to his friends. He knew he was a troublesome. He had mood swings, especially in days like Christmas and new year eve or his birthdays. His sharp tongue, carefree attitude and his habit of sleeping around had made him many enemies. Boyfriends of the girls he slept with, guys having crushes on girls he slept with, guys who had crushes on him and he'd turned them down, guys who're jealous of his looks and reputation.

He realized that beside all that, he was nothing special. His wild nature had made him a nuisance to his friends, with Pha always looking for his whereabouts and Kit worrying about his drinking and sleeping habits. he felt less... lonely.

Not That he and his mother didn't love each other but ever since his father left them, she had turned into a cold, ruthless money-making machine. Taking over her family business in her brother's place, turning her entire family against herself and him. But she didn't care, she was happy being on the top. His dad never even looked back to see if he was okay. He was happy in his own life too. Without him. He knew mother loved him but it was a fact too that she didn't need him.

So yeah, he only had those two friends. In his heart, he knew he liked that there was someone, at least his friends, who cared for him. He was grateful to them. He didn't mean to be like this. They were all he had, they were always there for him, he didn't realize any of them could feel that way about each other. He had this pride in their friendship that Kit had cracked with his words.

Yes, he knew he might be over reacting, he knew Kit was too hot headed and never realized the things he said in anger. He sometimes didn't even remember it. But what Kit said to him, and the way he said it, broke his heart. It might not seem that big of a deal to others but to him, it broke his heart. Kit's harsh tone and his cutting words and the way he just stood there like a statue, not even bothering to stop him when he left with a heavy heart. Beam knew from the look on Kit's face that he knew what he said. He knew exactly what he was saying to his best friend.

For Ming.

Just saying his name made him feel cold. He just couldn't explain why he didn't like that cheerful and happy guy even when everyone else loved him. Whatever Ming did or said, felt two faced to him. Just something about him was...

Off.

"Hello P'Beam"

Beam looked up at Ming. Huh! Speak of the devil.

"Hi Ming. How are you?"

"Happy. P'Kit reciprocated his feelings, they're dating now, as of today, despite all the... outside interference and bad intentions"