Cina's point of view
I scream all the way to Santana's house. I pause my dramatics to tell her the story and she screams as well, Jooheon walks into the living room frowning.
Jooheon: It sounds like murder in here, what's wrong?
Santana: You're not secretly in love with someone from your past are you?
He blinks.
Santana: Are you hesitating?
Jooheon: No I'm just a little confused.
Me: It goes The kink, the sadist, the little and then the daddy. Read those then come back.
He nods his head before going upstairs.
Santana: I'm confused too, he was happily married right? Please say right?
I shrug, all that glitters isn't gold.
Santana: This is fucked up.
Me: I'm just going to say his judgement is clouded. They went through a traumatic experience and now he doesn't know how to feel because she's pushing him away.
Santana nods.
Santana: That would be spot on if these feelings didn't occur before the tragedy.
I curse under my breath.
Me: This can't be happening. He, Yeosang and Seonghwa are friends now! We're all friends! What happened in college stays in college.
She purses her lips.
Santana: I think we should visit Raven.
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The door opens and Raven stands there. Her robe hangs off her shoulder while her hair is in a knotted bun on top of her head.
Raven: What're you two doing here?
Santana: We came to see if everything is okay. We haven't seen you in a while.
She doesn't say anything as she walks away leaving the door open. The house is a complete disaster, she steps over the mess to crawl into a ball on the couch.
Raven doesn't say a word, she just stares into space. My heart aches as I look in the corner to see a bunch of unopened baby things.
Santana: Have you ate anything today?
Raven: Not hungry.
We exchange glances not knowing what to say. Santana has an idea of what to do but at the same time she doesn't want Raven to feel asthough she's going therapist on her, we've hit rock bottom at this point.
Santana: There's nothing anyone can say or do to relieve you of all the pain. You're hurt, San is hurt, your families are hurt, you lost your babies.
Raven sniffle.
Santana: You two would've been wonderful parents, we all know that. This wasn't your fault or his fault, bad things happen and we'll never understand why. It's okay to be down but don't stay there, you have to get up if not for yourself for them kids.
Raven sits up, she begins to cry before shaking her head.
Raven: I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. It's like waking up tomorrow and finding your whole reason for being alive was stripped from you. Every bit of happiness I felt is gone, my life is now in-void.
She lets out a humorless chuckle.
Raven: My marriage is in serious trouble. I'm so busy pitying myself I forgot about San, he's been busting his ass to make sure I'm okay and do you know I never once asked how he was feeling?
She scoffs before looking at me.
Raven: Maybe that's why he loves you.
Oh God no, Santana's eyes widen.
Raven: We had an argument one time because I was feeling insecure due to the pregnancy. He came home from having a dinner with you, Yeosang and Seonghwa and I flipped. He looked so happy while I was miserable and I wanted him to feel how I did. So I brought up you, saying he was happy because he could be around you. The one he really wanted, he shouted maybe.
Shit.
Me: I don't believe he meant it, he was just angry.
Raven: Don't be naive Cina.
Me: Don't be stubborn Raven.
She raises an eyebrow.
Me: Whether he still has a crush is neither here nor there, you're his wife, you have a ring, you two stood in the church in front of your family and said vows!
Santana nods.
Me: You need each other the most right now. If he feels attached to me at all it's because I'm helping him through this when it should be you. He should help you and you should help him. If not then what the hell do y'all say I do for?
Raven: So you want me to be okay with him loving you?
I shake my head.
Me: Talk to him. Marriage counseling or something, figure it out.
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y'all can breathe shdjsjs....
for now.
YOU ARE READING
The Kink (book 5 of the kink series)
Fanfiction"You spoiled her so much she thinks she's the one in charge." "Grab your handcuffs so we can show her she's wrong."
