Fractured

You're Not Dean

T/W:  ATTEMPTED SEXUAL ASSULT, CHOKING, ABUSE

* MATURE CONTENT TOWARDS THE END OF CHAPTER*- sorry in advance

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Dean's POV:

"Why are we here at five in the morning, Sammy," I complained, rubbing my neck and sipping my coffee while Sam searched the back of his friends house.

"I don't know man, why did we sleep in your car last night?" Sam sassed back.

I rolled my eyes at the kid and said, "I already explained this to you last night-"

"Cut the crap Dean," Sam cut me off, "What did you do to Devyn?"

I narrowed my eyes on my little brother, "What the hell are you trying to say Sam?"

Sam let out a humorless laugh and said, "You brought her to the motel yesterday afternoon, and were in a bad mood all day afterwards. Then you don't want to go back to the motel to sleep, you want to sleep in the car. What the hell happened between you two?"

I looked down ashamed, thinking about the hurtful things I said to the girl I care about most in the world yesterday afternoon. I bit the inside of my cheek before responding, "Sammy, I screwed up man. I said some pretty hurtful things to her in the car when I went to comfort her, and I don't know how to make it right."

Sam looked up from the dumpster he was looking around and asked me, "What did you say to her?"

I looked down at my coffee, "I told her I was worried about dad, that I was worried he could be dead," I let out a heavy sigh before continuing, "Damn it Sam, I told her I don't want to lose both my parents like her. The words left my mouth before I even knew what I was saying, and the hurt look that was plastered across her face, man. How- how do I fix this. Shit, I was gonna tell her I loved her when she asked why I cared for her so much, and that other shit came out instead."

Sam looked at me with sympathy in his eyes, "Dude, you messed up big time."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Sam," I snapped back. "Even though she wanted nothing to do with me once I dropped her off, I should've stayed with her."

"What do you mean," Sam questioned me confused.

"Sam, she's not the same girl you knew before you went to college. She lost her family, all of them. She resorted to drinking, and I bet you as soon as she got into the room she went straight to the liquor shelf, and drank it all. She said she would get some sleep, but I know her better than that. I left her alone anyway." I explained to Sam, my voice catching a little bit every once in a while. I was scared to know what she was doing, what she did last night. "Sam, I want her to get better, not worse, and last night I definitely pushed her in the wrong direction."

Sam smiled, which I couldn't understand why someone would be smiling right now, "Wow, you really love her don't you," Sam questioned. I couldn't help but nod in response. I did, I finally figured it out, but now she hates me so it doesn't matter anyway. "You know as soon as you tell her those three words she will instantly forgive you right," Sam said.

"You're crazy dude, she hates me," I shot back.

"Only because she doesn't know you're struggling, too. Once she knows why you've been acting the way you have, once you explain yourself correctly, and apologize. She will forgive you, and I guarantee she will say it back," Sam responds back quickly.

I couldn't help the small smile that took over my face, "Okay, as soon as we figure this out, I'm telling her. I will sit her little ass down and have a - ah - a heart to heart."