Sirius

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It's the name that lives in his thoughts, the one that is repeated the most in that inner litany that accompanies him everywhere. Sirius is the name that listens when his heart is starting to change shape and pumps faster, influenced by the moon. He feels it in those moments... as the only thing he feels.

Sirius, his face a few inches away from his, grabbing him while he's still a man. "Only meat, Remus, it's only meat". Sirius is what remains on the border between the man and the wolf.

Sirius Black, who always enters the common room with huge strides, speaking loudly enough for everyone to hear.

Sirius, who needs attention like Remus needs the moon and laughs at exploding explosions and bought an absurd muggle motorcycle that he's trying to enchant to fly just to show off and get the girl's attention.

Sirius, who always looks for a dishonest intention and wants to turn it all into a prank.

Sirius, who one day discovered his lycanthropy and turned his condemnation into a game, saying eagerly "Well man, if you are a werewolf, we will have to do something for not leaving you alone". And he did not know at that time, that Remus Lupin gave more than one dreadful night a month and he solemnly swore never to abandon him, neither let him dominate his fury.

Sirius Black. The person who half the girls at Hogwarts wish for and the other half hates, because they expected something more from him than sneaky encounters late at night and a distant greeting the morning after.

Sirius, who torments Snape and is so brilliant that he doesn't need to study, and it seems that he was born for magic, something instinctive and almighty that springs from him with a talent that scares the teachers.

Sirius, who sometimes stays in the common room because he can't sleep, and rests his feet on the table and adopts that scowling, concentrated expression, and talk to Remus in a low voice because there is no other chronic insomniac close.

Sirius, who in that precious moment, lets it surface that other Sirius, disgusted and sad and haunted by the Death Eaters, and Voldemort, and his family's involvement in the upcoming war.

Sirius, who hates himself for being born from a bad seed. Misunderstood, lonely by force. "We're a renegade couple, Moony. You and me, a couple of renegades". Sirius confesses in the early hours of the morning. "If I wouldn't have met James and you, maybe I would be like the rest of my brothers, Remus... Maybe I would be like them".

Sirius is the name that beats in Remus's dreams, in all phases of the moon. "You are my family, Moony" And they, The Marauders, are their own.

Sirius. His family, his brother, his best friend. Sirius, who has all the girls he wants, and most of the time, ignores them because he prefers to sneak with James out to Hogsmeade under the invisibility cloak to steal butterbeer.

Sirius, that growls muggle songs when he's drunk and has that doggy grin and far, far more attractive than Remus would like. Because, sir, his life would be so much simpler if the cocky bastard didn't have so many reasons to feel satisfied with himself.

In the mornings, he looks in the mirror and starts humming, while James washes his teeth.

-Damn, Potter, how can I be so handsome?

James spits the tooth cleaning potion into the sink.

- It's a fucking mystery. - They enjoy teasing each other rather frequently. - Sometimes I don't sleep at night while I think about it, mate.

- Seriously? And I thought you were shaking it thinking about Lily.

In the bathroom, Sirius tries to get his hands on him. James tries to get away without swallowing the potion. They make jokes about magic wands in between an intimacy, a masculine and physical comfort between them that Remus did not share, but enjoy watching from the outside. He looks at them while Sirius howl "I love you Jimmy!" and James protests, "Shoo, Doggie!". He takes a deep sigh... and his sigh always sounds the same.

"Oh, Oh Sirius".

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