Marauder crack

Tell me, Tell me

James Potter doesn't know how to smoke. Or he expels all the smoke without swallowing or tries to swallow and have wild coughing attacks, which makes him shrink. He remains livid and appears even thinner than he is.

Also, he grabs his cigarette like if he were a particularly ugly chick whose breath smells. It's funny to look at him but when he starts to get green, Sirius takes the cigar from him before he chokes.

-It's a too good and expensive weed, Potter. You don't deserve it.-

While the garden shed is almost dark and the school remains in a certain silence interrupted by murmurs and yawns, James and Sirius take a break. There is little left for the final exams. The course has little left to finish, and Sirius's narrow marihuana cigarette is just two puffs of burning completely. He holds it between his fingers and watches the rising smoke.

-Hey man, did you know there were some Muggles that went up to the moon?-

James swallows hard to keep from coughing.

- On a rocket ship, I already knew. - He says it with galactic admiration.

- It must be great riding a rocket, can you imagine? Better than a broom.

To the moon.

- How did you know?

- Unlike you, I passed Muggle Studies.

- I also passed it, asshole- defends himself.

- You invented fake anti-copy pens and wrote the same as Remus.

The smoke forms hallucinated silhouettes, and behind it, James seems slightly blurred. And possibly dizzy.

- Hey, Potter.

- What?

"How do you know that you would not like to have a guy eating you if you never tried it?"

Everything seems blurry.

- Well, have you ever ...? - He's not sure you want to ask.

- What?

"Have you ever wondered where that scar on Remus ends up? Have you thought in him solemnly swearing to you that his intentions are up to no good? Have you thought about how the scars on his chest resemble the corridors of Hogwarts on the Marauders' Map?"

James stares at Sirius, with red eyes.

- Have you ever thought of making Quejicus take a singing potion?

James's eyes immediately lighten up, and the teachers take the three following days to get Severus to be able to do an oral exam without trying a C-sharp. Sirius torments him by telling him that they need a Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar and Severus insults him in A Minor, burning with hate.