Just give me a name

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- So?

- So what?

Remus and Sirius are studying for the exams. Although it would be more accurate to say that Remus studies and Sirius, who is too bright for his own good, leave the books open, puts his Doc Martens on the table, and spends his time tormenting Remus. Grooming his hair. Being irritable and stifling and suffocating and well, well, being Sirius.

- Shouldn't we talk about it?

- Talk about what? - Remus can't believe it. He looks up from the book.

"Let's talk about my homosexuality with the boy I like. Wouldn't that be great?"

- Man, you can't drop that off and I don't know, stay there ... existing.

- And yet I am inclined to think that I can.

There is a small silence but Remus knows that it is nothing more than a parenthesis. What will it be, if not. Sirius is a dog with a used sock. He will leave it for a while but come back soon to continue nibbling. Drooling. Leaving a trail of saliva. He leans back on the seat.

- You could have told me. -The very douchebag has the nerve to put on his badly wounded puppy face when he says it. - We are friends. There are so many secrets ... - clicks his tongue in disapproval. - First I find out that you're a werewolf, after that, happened that you like the Beatles more than their songs and what will be next?

"You like the Beatles more than their songs".

Good Sir. The idiot has too much charm. Too much. Oh, damn it. It is impossible to be angry with him for more than five minutes.

- What are we going to find out now, Remus? Will we find out that you are a mermaid when the tide rises? Because I warn you, that I will not convert in merman for you, Moony.

- You meant Triton, Dontcha' Sirius?

- Whatever.

The conversation should be ending there. The conversation shouldn't go on. Remus believes that the conversation should not have occurred first. But it is useless. Sirius needs to know. Not enough confirmation that he likes boys. Too abstract. There's a buried bone and Mr. shithole needs to dig it out, sniff it, track it. He needs to know which boy he likes because according to him, James has Lily and her obsession with her and he has "a legion of fans greater than Paul and John together "and Peter has to "learn to shake it off quietly man" but Remus has no one. It's hard to believe what his ears hear.

- Do you want to be my cupid?

He shrugs his shoulders. Typical. He wears his tie loosened and his boots covered in mud. That, and his satisfied smile.

- Sirius, I am not your pet, what are you going to do, transform into a homosexual when the full moon rises and accompany me to Hogsmeade to look for men?

That sounded defensive. And besides, he thinks he has blushed. Very little but with his complexion, it's noticeable. Sirius's expression transformed immediately. An abrupt, almost cruel change. Becomes humble, soft, liquid, as if everything Black left him and only Sirius will remain, a faithful dog, a tired hound.

- I just want you to be happy, Remus.

His heart is racing. He wonders what would happen if he told him that he already has what he has, or at least all that he can have. If he told him "I only want you". If he opened his heart and showed the hidden face of the Moon.

- I'm acceptably happy, Padfoot.

Sirius leans across the table. Tilt his head, his ears lower.

- Agree. - He looks inside, where nobody is looking. - But let me know if acceptable ceases to sound reasonable.

Remus notices a lump in his throat. He swallows. He feels dizzy. Babbles. Or so he thinks.

- I solemnly swear.

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