Marauder crack

That (muggle) invention of the devil

When the big day of the cinema arrives - the big night, actually- Mr. Filch and the masters of the four houses escort the boys to Hogsmeade, late in the afternoon. It's a starry and intense night and on the way to the Hogsmeade Wizarding Theater, Remus observes the great starry dome of the sky. Filled with points of light that shiver and with a huge crescent moon. In the theater, where elves usually do their performances, there is a huge white cloth and on it, projected in black and white at thirty-three frames per second, one Muggle movie that Remus has seen at least fifteen times and to Sirius, it seems, like almost everything in life, hilarious.

- What did you say this is called?

- Dracula.

-And is that man supposed to be a vampire?

Hilarious. In the front rows, the rest of the students have shush him repeatedly to shut him up and when they fail, Remus tries to shut him up and when he doesn't get it, Sirius decides it's best to vent while he pays a visit to the loo because he can't be the only one who finds hilarious all the inaccuracies about real vampires that there is in the movie. Coffins and capes, for God's sake. As comic material, it has no price. He returns to his place still smiling when his mood changes radically and fearfully.

His site is busy.

His place with Remus. Occupied.

By whom?

By a Slytherin.
By that cute ass Slytherin who doesn't stop chasing Remus like a shadow.

James, the idiot, horned asshole, has gotten up to try and get Filch to serve him one of those bags of popcorn or whatever they are called, and Peter, of course, has followed him because it's what Peter does. Which leaves Remus alone - ALONE! - with that spy memo for Malfoy, who will eventually discover that he is a wolf and he will get Remus kicked out of school. As if it was not obvious what he wants. Information, humiliation, and incidentally, if he falls, a nightstand. Shitbag.

Every time the memo opens his mouth he stares Remus in the eye as if everything he says is super intense or something like that and of course, every time Remus says something, the idiot laughs like he's the most amusing lad on the whole planet.

Well, it's not that Remus isn't funny, because the truth is that Sirius like his sense of humor a lot but it is clear that this useless person does not laugh like "ha, what a laugh" but like "why don't we go somewhere quieter, Remus?"

The strange stinging in Sirius's chest that started as mild pain, has just turned into a fearful of canine fury. He approaches with a determined step, despite the protests of the students who still want to watch the movie. They are almost in the last row. Sirius's silhouette against the screen is threatening.

- Hey you.

It is the most aggressive "hey you" in the history of the "hey you". The boy who Sirius thinks name was Daniel raises his head.

- Er ... hello Sirius. I thought you wouldn't mind if I sat here for a moment.

"Did you think that, you slimy ball of shit?"

- You thought wrong.

He struggles to ignore the violent disapproval in Remus's gaze but he sees him out of the corner of his eye. His anger only makes him angrier.

Does Remus prefer to sit with a Slytherin over him? It is outrageous. It's scary! And not in a good way.

-Well, well ... - the boy seems that he is misplaced, but maybe is that he only knows how to stammer. - Anyway, I'm back at my place.

- Great.

When he stands up Sirius restrains himself to raise his upper lip, squint and growl first and bark later. He is that he can't bear to see that lad. HE CAN'T STAND HIM. And full stop. The only thing that cannot stand less? That Remus, his fucking best friend, get up with that blower and announce that he is leaving.

- I'll accompany you, if you don't mind.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

And he goes and does it. Remus stands up and has the courage to throw a killer look at him when he leaves and Sirius can't do anything but stay there, between all those sssshhh and all those "sit down" that don't earn more than irritating him more than he already is. Remus not only leaves him standing there like a stand coat rack but he does never return for the remaining of the film. ALL the movie away. Sirius begins to think that it is true what his mother says and the cinematograph is just another stupid, useless, wretched muggle invention.

He is too furious to focus on the movie. He no longer even find it funny. And when he's done, he's too furious to sleep. Especially since Remus has disappeared from his sight and when the chairs begin to move away so they can sleep and the prefects start bawling for everyone to line up, Remus still doesn't show up for sleeping.

Sirius discovers at that moment who he is angry with.

With Remus, of course.

Not angry, FURIOUS.