Marauder crack

Inquisitive Spirit

In between the sixth graders, there is Professor Rittenblast, a German woman with a sullen accent and somewhat masculine manners, the one in charge of Herbology. The last Monday in April, spring is a promise that does not finish and Herr Rittenblast –with two T's- sends the students to the sections authorised from the forest in pairs.

Peter sticks up to James. Remus, for once in his life, wishes he could go with anyone but Sirius. They're looking for cardamom and this motherfucker won't shut up.

- Sirius, don't you know how to let it be?

- What kind of idiotic question is that? You know I don't know how to let it be. Have I ever known how to let it be?

- As you just illustrated it so well, no.

They have an hour ahead. Alone. In the woods. Looking for plants that Remus knows exactly where they are and what they look like. Is the same forest through which he walks during the day and walks on four paws some nights. He knows it as if they were his fingers. Sirius is still not willing to shut up.

- Come on, Moony. I will tell you everything.

- That is not true.

- Tell me something I haven't told you.

Remus doesn't have to think much. - The girl you were with on Saturday night. Tell me what's her name.

- I can't tell you that.

- You see?

He finds cardamom under the shade of a birch. He put it in the bag and keep looking for honeysuckle. With Sirius behind, of course.

- It's not that I don't want to tell you. I just don't remember what it's called.- Worst of all is the honesty with which he says it. - Elma. Or Elna.

-Helga, the waitress at the Leaky Cauldron? Isn't she a little older for you?-

-You see? I don't need to tell you anything. Someone finds out, a rumor is created and then Wormtail tells the whole school. And it is not older, what happens is that the light from that place does not favor her.

She must be around thirty but why would Sirius be meticulous about the age at this point. He has already slept with all the girls at school, he has to start increasing his hunting territory. Remus would love to be able to say that long ago he stopped feeling jealous over his long list, because, after all, they get half an hour of fucking and a "If I've seen you, I don't remember" and he wouldn't trade what he has with Sirius for something like that. He often repeats it to himself and it works most of the time. With an emphasis in the "almost".

-Besides, hell, we weren't talking about me, mate. We were talking of you.

- You said it. We were Pads. A long time ago.

Issue settled. End of discussion. 

There is a clearing in the forest and sprouts honeysuckle nearby. Remus walks over there and sees the place away when Sirius lashes out again. Bloody hell. The bastard screams so that all living creatures can hear him.

- Mc Fynn!

- What?

Remus can't believe it. They have been like this for half an hour and the abnormal, arrogant, lout, cocky, stupid, airhead, cheeky, pimp, pointless Sirius Black believes that he is God's gift to this world and that he cannot understand how someone can not faint at his alone and sublime and majestic presence, REALLY insists on playing "let's find out what cock you fancy". It would be funny if it weren't because it's the closest thing to unbearable torment of a dementor's kiss that occurs to Remus.

"You wanna know who I like, you idiot dog? I like someone who right now I would love to strangle with my bare hands".

- Liam Mc Fynn! There you have a good match.

- Sirius, let it be.

It hurts. See him in the forest, striding with that unique grace, magnificent, spirited, unattainable, it hurts. Sirius so masculine that Remus's knees buckle in the morning when he sees him look out the window without T-shirt and pijama bottoms, with the first unbuttoned button, scratching his stomach. Sirius has a perverse sensibility for mischiefs and the touch of a rhinoceros, a smile for every moment of the day and an innate ability to be slapped and kissable in a fraction of a second. Sirius hurts more than the moon and when he realises nothing, it hurts even more. 

He's a shit hole bastard and it hurts, damn, in every corner of his body.

- Come on, Moony. There must be someone at school you fancy. Spit it out.

- It is not your business if I like someone or not and...- he gives up slightly-... who the hell is Mc Fynn?

- From Hufflepuff, play keeper. You know who he is. You both were talking for two hours at the dance. I know he likes guys because I'm always catching on him looking at my butt.

You were talking for two hours at the dance. Is it pathetic if those words make him feel hopeful? Sirius spends his dances chasing skirts and still, he has time to notice what HE, Remus, does. Time to think about it and, God yeah, it's pathetic that something like that matters to him.

- From Ravenclaw. His name is Ian Mc Finne and he likes James. It's probably him he's looking at. But squints a little.

- Seriously?

- Left eye. It's a bit confusing when you talk to him.

- He fancies James more than me?

Remus prefers not to answer. Sirius Black is dumb. It is also the only boy who fancies but is a stupid hood.