Marauder crack

The only letter that wasn't burned

The owl arrives at Hogwarts first thing in the morning. Enters the Great Hall through one of the back windows and drops the envelope right in front of Remus's breakfast. It comes in the name of James and with his owl, so that's why he doesn't read it until a while later, back in his room. As soon as he opens the envelope, he feels like if Zonko's joke items explode on his chest.

"Moony" - says James's handwriting- "the Blacks have been watching over Sirius' correspondence, so he has asked me to send this to you in his name. I don't know more details ".

Monitoring his correspondence. His parents. Searching his letters. The letters that he received. 

His letters. The ones he has never answered. Because never got to read them.

And so he reads the first letter from Sirius in one go. Almost without breathing.

"Moony,

When I first got my feet into the Hogwarts Express, I wanted to travel alone. I knew some students. My cousins and relatives, and other children used to come home with their parents. Children of pure blood London families. Friends of my parents. I didn't want any of them to sit with me, so I filled out the compartment with my luggage. I would have peed right there for them to move the fuck away from me. I've never told you why I let you in. Maybe I'll never have known why. But now I do.

It's because you asked for permission. 

Because it was raining and you got wet.

Because you sneezed. 

Because you thought I wouldn't let you sit.

Because you wanted to leave. It is because I knew at that moment that if my mother and my father and my brother or the other London children will see you, they would immediately despise you. I let you sit in that wagon with me because the Blacks wouldn't have left you, and I guess I wasn't any better than them, at that time. You were useful to me for my rebellion. And that's why I let you sit down.

I'm not proud but glad I did. I am glad of having prayed for hours and hours those days before the beginning of the school term for the hat to say "Gryffindor." Although I did it for the same reason. To upset my family. To show me that I wasn't one of them, quite the opposite.

The truth, Moony, is that I am one of them and I will always be.

But today, the same like six years ago, when I see you walk into the classroom and you choose to sit with me regardless of what I am, what the fuck, knowing what I am, and that surely I will never be something better, I feel the same as in that train, or under that hat that said Gryffindor. I have faith, Remus, that there is something inside of me that maybe will never be as good as you, but better than them. If I fight what I am, it is not a battle that I will win, but maybe with your help, I won't go to lose.

I'd let you in that wagon over and over and over again. Knowing that I do not deserve that you sit with me. Hoping that every time you have to, and even when you don't, you choose to do it.It's me, and not you, who has a monster inside, Remus.

But I'm a lucky asshole. Because I also carry you inside. That might save me, don't you think?

My family has burned all your letters before I read them. When you get this, if James and his parents let me, I'll be living with the Potter family. So from now on, no one will steal your letters from me. I do not know what I've been missing, but if you've been telling me that you are shagging Dumbledore, you don't need to write me a summary now. I can live without knowing it.

Padfoot.

Ps: Although if you have missed me, you know, even if it was only a little, it wouldn't hurt to tell me, Moony."

When he finishes reading, Remus's gaze is trembling and he feels that it is summer for the first time in weeks.