Lose me

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A second after putting Peter in bed, a series of snoring fills the boys' room. In those cases, the following step is usually to remove the shoes of the drunk on duty so that the bed doesn't get dirty, but with Peter, almost better than not. James is torn between lying in his own bed or going back to the Shrieking Shack and finally, he chooses to go down to the common room to eat some of the chocolate that Remus always hides under his mattress. If he sleeps with the whiskey still roaring in the head, the bed will begin to move like a ship, and knows that he will wake up with a scary hangover. And he doesn't want to have one of those nasty Day After potions for breakfast again. They are effective but taste like mandrake.

He rests on one of the armchairs in the common room, biting the orange-flavored chocolate with slight hints of cinnamon that he has found. In the other armchair, under a plaid blanket that he does not remember having seen before, something moves breathing softly, and shakes in her dreams.

- Lily?

She wakes up with a start and James censures himself for having her woken up. "I'll be a bloody asshole!!! I have missed the opportunity to see her sleep!" The book she was holding falls to the ground and when she bends down to grab it, the blanket also falls a little and James Potter experiences the nice feeling of having a heart attack. Lily is wearing a nightgown. Actually, kinda not wearing it. She is wearing what looks like an oversized shirt that comes down to her knees and now that she's not covered by the blanket, it is revealed more of Lily Evans' legs he has ever had the honor to see. Probably he's seen more than he can bear.

- What time is it?

- Er ... one o'clock?

So much leg. Jesus. It never ends. It seems smooth from that distance. James wonders how it would feel when he touches her, projecting himself in towards a daydream fantasy in which he can caress her thighs until his hands disappear under her shirt.

- I fell asleep waiting for Remus.

She looks slightly embarrassed. As if she had to justify herself. James doesn't want her to justify herself. He wants to be him for who she stays up late waiting, not Remus. He wants them to be able to speak at that distance, in that intimacy that the loneliness and her shirt and her bare legs give. He wants to sleep with her and their legs getting tangled in bed, but that's another story.

- I don't think they are coming back yet.

- Where do you guys go at night?

He can't tell Lily the truth.

- Around.

- Sure. Is Remus alone?

- With Sirius.

Now it is Lily who says "Sure" with an indecipherable tone and threatens to get up from the couch, announcing that she is going to bed.

- We could kiss.

- What?

She turns around. Eyes wide.

- I'm not saying now, of course. In December, I mean. After the dance... Y-you see, I could pick you up here around five and we could go down to the Great Hall together. Last year you wore a green dress and if you wore something of that color again would be great because I love how green suits you. But not because you're wrong or summat' with other colors, sincerely. It is because of the green, I do not know, Wow. - James talks and whiskey talks and how they both speak at the same time, no one really knows who speaks louder. - And we could dance, you know, how did you dance with that egghead Ned O'Leary last year or maybe how you danced with Remus to that Beatles song, I don't know if they will put the Beatles in the dance. We would have to talk to Dumbledore. But if the Beatles sound we could dance all night I swear I would never step on you. Word of honor...- He puts his hand to his chest in an excessively dramatic way. The whole room is blurry except for Lily and her legs and her precious mouth in the shape of an "o". - And afterward, maybe, we would talk in a corner, y' know? Where the music could be heard in the distance and I could hear you talk about, I dunno, whatever you wanted to tell me. I wonder why you talk to Remus so much, I suppose about anything because it is clear that you know everything... And that would be great. Hear you speak before we come back here and say goodbye to each other at this very site. You would be tired and with that blush on your cheeks and a little disheveled and it is not to take advantage of you but on that occasion, I would have to kiss you because surely I would be craving all night to kiss you. And you would let me. Yeah, that sounds neat. And you would kiss me back then.

For a moment everything seems real. James can see that night as if it was happening. He closes his eyes. He watches as Lily bows her head and they kiss. It is brilliant and perfect. It's not real but it's still perfect. A perfect ten on the scale of fantasies.

- I could go to bed with a kiss from Lily. Nothing more would be needed. Nothing more and nothing less than to get on the stairs and take advantage of the darkness to kiss and touch each other under our clothes, I swear. I wouldn't try anything of that even though I would like to because I don't know, did I tell you that you have amazing legs and I'm a little intoxicated?

Gets his gaze focused.

Lily has listened to him on his feet all that time.

Does she look like something, surprised? That may be it. It suits her well. She is beautiful with that mouth open and not knowing what to say.

- You're intoxicated.

- I just told you. And that you have legs that made me ...

- I heard you.

- Ah.

The silence between them is thick, new, different.

- I'm going to bed.

- I'm glad for the bed.

- You are so...

- What?

She sighs deeply. She looks like she's going to say something and gives up. But she thinks about it a little better and maybe what she ends up saying is more or less what she had in mind after all

- Maddening.

- Thanks.

- It wasn't a compliment.

- Oh sorry. Very good. Cristal clear then... I mean now.

Lily grunts or something. A delicious foiled noise that sounds like a soft moan for James, like a kitten, and she goes to bed, dragging her plaid blanket, rocking in a room that moves and turns and loops and twists as if the tides of the sea were inside. A minute later, James is sleeping on the couch, gliding into a redheaded ocean of sneaky Christmas kisses. Dreams induced by Lily's explosive mixture and alcohol.

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