Marauder crack

Like the dog and the cat

It all starts by chance and solely because they've been talking about Animagus in transfiguration class. Lily has always been biased on that issue and she has known that if she were to get a license to transform into an animal she would choose a cat. She is thinking about it during the meal when it occurs to her to ask it out loud.

- What kind of animagus would you be?

Peter has a coughing fit and spits milk from his nose. James slaps him hard on the back, while he says "Easy Peter, it was just a hypothetical question." Sirius claims that he has never thought about it. As normal, he never thinks of almost anything. On his behalf, James - still slapping Peter - says he has no idea. And the three of them continue eating. Which is quite rare.

Silent.

Which is quite extraordinary.

- I think I would choose a cat.

- Really? - James puts down the spoon and looks at her attentively, with that mania that he has of looking at her as if the rest of the world did not exist. What kind of cat?

-One with whiskers, Jimmy- says Sirius -like all cats.

- No way. - James keeps looking at her. - The wayward Black here, doesn't like cats.

-I like dogs- says Sirius, with that tone of voice, then adding -dogs are great.

The thing inevitably leads to the discussion of cats versus dogs and which is better than the other. Lily understands, logically, that it is normal for Sirius to like dogs. They poke around on every corner, eat without rest, bark for no reason, and show their teeth to strangers. Just like Sirius. Not that Lily dislikes them but she insists on defending the moral superiority of cats because cats are superior and almost sacred animals in the magical world and secondly, arguing with Sirius is extremely entertaining. She takes it so seriously that it seems like they're arguing about something quite personal.

- Cats are distrustful and if you are not careful they will gouge out an eye of yours, Evans.

- Would you trust people if you were an animal? What's more. Dogs fill everything with drool and fleas.

- Dogs are faithful, and as a matter of fact, loyal. Are cats used to protect houses? No ma'am. Because the cats would stay licking their backs while they rob you and assassinate you. The dog would fight for your things and your life, and will die trying to save you.

- Dogs sniff each other's ass.

For some reason the comment causes both Remus and Peter to have sudden fits of laughter. Sirius frowns. Remus looks down at the plate and Lily would swear he's trying not to keep on laughing.

- Not all dogs do that! At least not with all butts.

- Dogs eat their own vomit.

Peter and James's laughter makes even Slytherin's heads turn to look at them. Sirius looks more than disgusted. He looks hurt.

- But what kind of dogs have you associated with, woman!