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Aurora

It is not what he expects. Remus warns him, but it's not what he expects. First course, in muggle hospitals, it smells funny. It's not like St. Mungo's, where it smells of sage and rosemary and healing herbs. In muggle hospitals, smells like the potion with which the house elves of Number 12 of Grimmauld Place clean the toilets. Or worse. Smells of disease and Sirius's olfactory sense, who is extremely sensitive, feels attacked. He would like to know how people can heal with that invasive odor. Wonder what he expected from Remus Lupin's mother and gets no response.

Lying on a bed, there she is. She has tubes tucked into his arm and is connected to a machine that beeps in a constant way. It looks like she only sleeps, even though the presence of her spirit in the room is almost imperceptible.

- Muggles call it being in a coma.

In coma. Two words. Nothing else. But Sirius gets the creeps. It's been like this for two years and Remus explains it with affection but without affectation, because Remus is like that and Sirius wants to cry for it. It's strange because he never, ever feel like crying.

He swallows to undo the knot that just formed in his throat and he snorts, as Remus approaches the bed, talking about his mother's accident and some kind of ball of blood that formed in his brain.

- Some doctors say that even now she can hear us or know what's going on.

He doesn't know if he can get close to the bed or not. His whole body trembles. He feels huge, idiotic, out of place. Everything in the room seems fragile and too clean for him. Remus says "hello, mom" and Sirius notices that mom is for him a word associated with contempt and anger but that there are other realities, other hearts in which mom can be the one inexorable affection, the most detached form of love, tenderness in its purest state.

Remus sits by the bed and that thin, blonde woman in between whose life seems present and absent at the same time.

Remus speaks to her as if they would have seen each other five minutes earlier and had talked over breakfast.

- I have come to see granny- lie- and I brought a friend with me.

A friend. That word has never sounded so valuable to him. It's a privilege. He is so honored that Remus is showing him this. A valuable part of him like the glass, unbreakable like diamonds.

- Mom, this is Sirius. Do you remember when I tell you about all those punishments that I do not have fault for? Sirius is the one who has it.

Tries not to shake his voice when you speak, closer to the bed.

- Sometimes James is also to blame, Mrs. Lupin. I swear.

- Her name is Aurora- Remus's voice breaks right at the last letter. -

And I guess now it's the whole family I have left.

He looks up. He's fighting on the brink of tears, with a red nose and trembling lips. And there is not. There is no heart big enough to encompass what Sirius feels at the time. Feels what he knows expanding and Remus's pain runs through him. Feels him transform with the full moon into a different man and when Remus cries Sirius falls on his knees and prays not to dissolve in the searing force of a hug that overrides the barriers of time and flesh with its monstrous intensity.

- I'm here - not sure but maybe he is crying too and maybe it is because of the injustice of life because there are mothers who hate and are alive and mothers who want to love and cannot open their eyes and if someone has to suffer, it should be him, hell, him and not Remus. His mother should suffer and not a werewolf's mother, who cries like his skin is raw. - I am your family, Remus. I'm here. - Strong, stronger, embraces him with the force of a tidal wave and he doesn't know what exactly happens to him, but that pain in his chest insists and howls and asks for something but he doesn't know what.

They leave the hospital without wanting to speak, anesthetized by crying.Sirius has never felt so close to Remus. So close to no one, in fact. And it's weird, but at the same time, he feels far away, still too far. Strange. Lunatic. In a doggy mood, what now? It must be to think of his mother. That must be.

It gets dark and he thinks that Aurora is a nice name for the mother of the werewolf.