UMSHADO

CHAPTER 52

MBUSO.

They drag me out until we are at the waiting area. She cannot die and leave our kids like that. How the hell am I going to take care of two kids on my own?. She has to live!  She really has to. “ what happened mbuso? Is something wrong with lungi ?” her aunt asks. How the hell do I tell them that luh might be dead?. I shake my head and leave them just like that as they keep calling after me. I run out of the hospital and as soon  as I’m outside. I scream. I fucken roar so loud and hard and I still feel like it’s not enough. Someone would probably think that I am crazy and they might be right because that is exactly how I am feeling. “ brother? ” it’s bonga. “ leave me alone bonga. I really want to be alone and get some fucken air and breathe!. ” he sits down on the pavement with me.

“ well too bad because you know I won’t leave you here alone. We are in this together. All of us are here for you and luh. We’ll both get some air and breath too cause being inside there is suffocating me. ” he doesn’t get it. He really doesn’t. “ Bonga please!. ” he shakes his head. “ no mbuso. I won’t leave you here alone and make up all kinds of worse scenarios in that bead of yours. I know you’re scared. Hell I’m scared too. The doctor came out after you left the waiting room. Luh is fine but she hasn’t woken up yet but she will. She just went into shock but she’s not dead mbuso. She is still here with us and she needs all of us to be strong for the both of you and your kids. Nothing bad will happen. ”

“ it already did bonga. She went into shock cause her body can’t handle everything that she has went through. What happens if she goes into another shock and doesn’t come out of it and her body gives in and she dies and leaves us what happens then?. I am so scared of losing her. I wish I can trade places and be there one who is lying there. I can’t stand to see her like that. ” I wipe my tears. “ lungi is strong mbuso and she knows that if she dies it will hurt her more than it will hurt you. She’s young and she’s very strong. You have to believe and have faith man that she will wake up and you will take her home with your kids. Be strong brother. Now is not the time for you to be breaking down. She needs strength from all of us but especially you. She needs you to pull her out of that shock. She needs to hear your voice. That’s what she needs. ” I get up and shake my head. “ I don’t have strength bonga. When I look at her I cry and I just want her to hold me and tell me that it is going to be okay. How do I tell her that when my heart is filled with fear. Fear of losing her. She has been through and what if she thinks it’s better for her to not be here. ”

“ you sound so stupid right now and I know you don’t believe that she could choose death over you and your kids. Mbuso you and luh breathe and live for each other. I know that my sister is fighting tooth and nail to be here to see her kids and you. Brother I know it’s hard and none of us can imagine what you’re going through but we are here with you and we will go through each and every pain you’re feeling. You will not shut us out and want to have some space to think or breathe. We will go to the toilet with you even if we must. We are all in this together. We will not leave your side and we will come out of this much stronger than we were before.” Sicelo says and I don’t know when he got here.

“ All we are asking you is to let us in and share your pain with us because it is hurting all of us to see you like this and especially luh. She is your wife mbuso but she is also as important to me and she is to you because I know if the roles were reversed and I was in your shoes. You would do and say the same. You probably would have punched me in my face and told me to snap out of it and that I will fall apart when my wife wakes up and when she is fine. So brother I’m saying the same thing to you. Wipe those damn tears. Get in there and show them that you’re mbuso gumede. Go and talk to your wife then you come back and let us see our kids cause the nurses are waiting for you to give them the go ahead But first we have to go to the chapel and pray. Don’t look at me like that. One of us here has to know how to talk to God and I think Bonga is the one who knows how to do that.” Sbusiso says and bonga nods. He pulls me to him and we bro hug. We all share a group hug then we head inside.