UMSHADO

CHAPTER 75

MBUSO.

My life flashes before my eyes as I am laying there and hearing coherent sounds of people screaming. I can't die right now. I can't leave my wife and kids. People are around me and they talking fast. I have to get up, I have to call luh and tell her I'm sorry. I should have listened to her when she told me to let it go. She's going to kill me.

I know I’m in the hospital and the doctor is talking about them operating me. What is wrong with me because I don’t feel any pain in my body?. I feel cold liquid flowing in my body and I lose consciousness.

I try to open my eyes but it's dark. I'm surrounded by darkness and I have no idea where I am. There's a peek of light somewhere far away that I can make out in that darkness. I look around to try and make out what room that is and I spot someone in a corner.

" who are you?." I ask them.

The thing about being inside or outside somewhere where there is no light your eyes automatically adjust until you able to see things in the dark. The person stands up and walks towards me. It is big and very scary. fuck me!. Am I in hell? Am i already dead?! Fuck No!.

" I asked you who the hell are you?."
The person stops just a few feet away from me.

" I am your past, conscious and everything bad you have ever done. That right there is your future?." he says pointing to where the little light is peeking.

" what? my past how?." the person walks closer and I realise it's not a person but a shadow. " you are a fucken shadow!. Am I in hell?."

" why do you think you are in hell?. Have you done things that can make you end up in hell?."

" is this a trick question? will my answer determine if I am leaving this place?."
"Answer honestly and you just might leave this place."

" ok my past. I have done many things that certainly earn me a VIP ticket straight to hell. I have hurt innocent people, I have killed those who were deserving to die and those who maybe could have had a second chance in life but I took that away from them. I played God with their lives."

" what made you be the judge, jury and executioner in people's lives."
I pace around.

" I decided that because everyone who wronged me knew what was going to happen. They will die and I don't give second chances."

" and what about you?. Why shouldn't you die? Why do you deserve a second chance?."

" you are my past but here you are judging me and reminding me of the things I have done why?. They are happened and I can't undo that. I made many mistakes and I do regret some of them but not most of them. Whatever I did to me felt like it was the right decision to me."

" I am here to remind you of what you have done and possibly make you aware that should you make the same mistakes again what will happen to you and those you love."

" I deserve another chance in life. I love my family. My kids are still young and I am the only man for luh. No one else!."
" are you sure about that?."

" I am sure about that!. Noman will take my place in her heart and life. I learned from my mistakes and this last one I made with that mother fucker themba. Had I listen to luh maybe I would be here talking to the shadow of my past."

" come with me?." I feel myself moving.

" where are you taking me?."

" I want to show you what is going on now as your laying in that bed."
I see myself laying on the hospital bed and I don't look like me. I look very bad.